Saturday, 14 November 2009

Sunny Saturday

This is my seventh post in seven days, and in those same seven days I have been very busy working, attended to domestic things, started planning Christmas, made long overdue contact with a couple of people, and helped outside the house. That makes a really promising week in which I managed to combine enjoyable things like blogging with getting on. Something to do with not beating myself up so much for the things I haven't done and instead continually saying I am doing good and this is OK or this is enough.

If anything my cough has gotten worse in the early part of this week but I am hoping that a change in my attitude may help towards the healing of that.

A really good and amazing thing that has happened is a conversation I had with son yesterday about Christmas. He has been reacting against my poverty mentality of the last few years and if anything wanting more and more but yesterday I put to him an idea that we have something of an ethical Christmas and make it more about being together and having fun. I told him about my best Christmas as a kid, the only good one: when my dad's business had gone belly up and we were very poor but mum decided she would make up for it and that year we had a simple but enjoyable meal and cheap toys but most of all no pressure on any one. That year I didn't have to stress about what to get my mother and how I was going to do it and knowing that she would find some reason to hate it anyway. Although our situation now is not the same there was something in that experience. So I suggested that instead of an obscene number of presents under the tree we have just one present each of between ten to twenty pounds in cost. That one present would be from everyone else in the family which means that the kids wouldn't have to spend but could have some help and choice in the present for the others, though in effect us parents would be doing it all. Son embraced it all and even took it a stage further and suggested that it was a TV and X-box free Christmas and we play games, but not Scrabble! I wonder how that would turn out in practise.

This morning he is enjoying brie on toast for the first time which is something Mr Doris and I have recently discovered. He is smiling at me and it is melting my built-up anger towards him. This is good. Very good.

And yes, despite the weather forecasts it is very sunny here for now.

4 comments:

Anji said...

The sun is shining here too. i think that the wind blew the clouds away.

It sounds like you've had a good week all round, I'm glad you've started blogging again.

Olivier was the same - we were the only people on the planet who were poor, why did his parents have to be losers....

A couple of summers ago he worked at the restaurant in the village for a month. He had to work hard, get up early, miss out on trips with friends etc. It really changed his attitude. We still have minor slips but on the whole his attitude is more understanding.

I'm not sure about giving up the telly this Christmas, We watch it so rarely the treat for us will be taking the time to fall asleep in front of it!

Olivier make me brie on toast drizzled with a tiny drop of honey, they have it as a starter on a bed of salad at the restaurant - delicious.

Josephine said...

I'll bring my Monopoly :-)

Brie on toast...how could you all have got so far in life without knowing about this! ;-)

You're on the road forward again Doris my friend...

And smetimes I think we have to draw a line in the sand about things like Christmas, and ask 'What is this FOR?'. Celebrating love and friendship and sharing...these are things that make Christmas special and memorbale. Not gadgets and shiny things. (Took me a while to understand that myself really).

Josephine said...

As for the weather...you soft northerners don't know what it's like for us down South!!

Doris said...

Thanks Anji - about the blogging :-) So funny 'cos son says similar about us! And I'm not sure I'm ready to give up Dr Who on the telly this Christmas... but there is always the record button if needs be.

LOL Josephine! And us northerners are often accused of having the worse weather. Our revenge. Thanks for your support too.