Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.
I used to have dreams, hopes and desires. Plenty of them. They propelled me ever forwards through my mixed-up life....
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
...and I ticked through the list as each materialised. The lyrics are so true. What comes first: the chicken or the egg? Same with dreams and reality. Actually, that is not a very good comparison which must mean I still have a bit of hot air left in me! [And this blog is back to being public again.] But you have to have dreams for them to come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.
Ah yes, far away with troubles far behind ..... that's me. I'm working on it and it is happening. This time tomorrow the removals people will be at our door. We are going. We are on our way. Like magic, troubles have melted like lemon drops simply by looking at things differently. In less than four weeks our lives have spun on a pin head. Funnily enough, we could have been above the chimney tops in our new home for the next few years but we certainly can raise our sights and see the sky, the sun, the stars and the moon. The whole universe is out there waiting for us and we can emerge from this odd self-created blanket we have been under.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?
But I can fly. I can do it too. I used to do it all the time but somewhere in the warmth and comfort of my marriage I have rested my wings too long. They had become closed in and weak. And how curious I had a frozen shoulder for a lot of this year....
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?
....my arm is working so very much better and my wings have begun fluttering and I may even have taken a few tentative reconnaissance flights and can see worlds of possibilities ahead. We are finally lifting out of this rut we have been in and are shifting a gear or two.
According to my astrological chart which I recently had done, certain transits have systematically taken my life apart except for the bare essentials of hubby and children so that I can rebuild it how I want. If I was being ungrateful I'd wonder why it had to happen like that and couldn't little things have just happened but I know very well that the writing has been on the wall for some years but I did nothing and just watched. It is still not clear what is to be rebuilt so I have gone back to basics, getting on with bringing in an essential income, getting on with "doing" as the navel gazing of the last few years has not helped. In time I will know what I am doing and where, I just don't know yet: it is an open book.
This Christmas has been one of the best. So delightful, beautiful company, and so much hope and joy knowing that we were moving between Christmas and New Year. Since leftovers go a very long way, our lovely fest of Christmas dinner seems to have been the last meal I have cooked in this house - and I cooked that with a friend, and enjoyed with my ever adoring Mr Doris along with growing son, and grown-up daughter, who came home for the day too. Even though we have had to give up so much (hundreds of books [leaving us with hundreds now rather then thousands!], a pretty house, space, great facilities and more) there is a big smile on my face and in my heart.
2008 turned out to be a significant year for friendships deepening and mellowing and becoming even more special. In the midst of my inner demons and turmoils and pain of this year friends have turned up the volume. Amazing.
To me, to my family, to my friends, to us all:
May 2009 bring greater freedom, happiness and prosperity.
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" Lyrics by E.Y. Harburg
Sunday, 28 December 2008
Friday, 24 October 2008
Dreaming
Just woke from an interesting illustrating dream which I think is one of those signpost ones. In essence, I put everyone else on pedestals in my life but never myself. As if it is OK for other people to be on pedestals but never me. The rationale being that I am both not good enough and also that it would be wrong because by doing so elevates me and puts others down. When, in my mind, having other people on pedestals puts no-one else down except myself. And then there is the not being good enough. A matter of opinion. There have been times in recent years when I have fouled up magnificently: started projects and not followed them through; not created the incoming generating sides of projects; not answered or returned emails; in short, buried my head in the sand. But apart from those misdemeanours I can be very good and effective in the things that I do.
The other part of my dream was that I should return to doing something I did in the past because this time it would be OK and I would be very good. In the dream it actually figured something I did twenty years ago, suggesting that I could do that really well, but I don't really think the dream was telling me to go back that far.
I have a little chewing over to do for now. Methinks concentrating on pedestals and that I could deserve one too is the starting point.
Very short post this due to arm pain/injury that I have had now for months and months which has gone into a frozen shoulder. On Monday evening I did just one hour of work on my PC and felt worse for it all week - it is that bad. I am determined it has to get better but that maybe I need to actually rest my arm more for a while. And how did I get this lovely injury in the first place? I only remembered a month or so ago ...... back in March my son bought a Wii with his combined birthday money which mummy quite enjoyed vigourously and enthusiastically playing golf and bowling. Fickle son got rid of the Wii after only a month. Just last night, someone else who did not know about my pain, told me about the ongoing arm injury she has from just a couple of hours of playing tennis and boxing on the Wii at the beginning of September. Which means we can not be the only ones with these sorts of injuries?
The other part of my dream was that I should return to doing something I did in the past because this time it would be OK and I would be very good. In the dream it actually figured something I did twenty years ago, suggesting that I could do that really well, but I don't really think the dream was telling me to go back that far.
I have a little chewing over to do for now. Methinks concentrating on pedestals and that I could deserve one too is the starting point.
Very short post this due to arm pain/injury that I have had now for months and months which has gone into a frozen shoulder. On Monday evening I did just one hour of work on my PC and felt worse for it all week - it is that bad. I am determined it has to get better but that maybe I need to actually rest my arm more for a while. And how did I get this lovely injury in the first place? I only remembered a month or so ago ...... back in March my son bought a Wii with his combined birthday money which mummy quite enjoyed vigourously and enthusiastically playing golf and bowling. Fickle son got rid of the Wii after only a month. Just last night, someone else who did not know about my pain, told me about the ongoing arm injury she has from just a couple of hours of playing tennis and boxing on the Wii at the beginning of September. Which means we can not be the only ones with these sorts of injuries?
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
Message in a bottle
It is hard to feel any optimism, yet optimistic news might be on the horizon. It might all work out jolly well actually, but I don't feel like that and find it hard to summon up any enthusiasm. Just in case it falls through, and just because it might not happen I must try to hold tight.
Holding tight these days means hiding away. Curled up and hidden in my bed alternating between tears, blankness and tapping away at my Nintendo brain training "germ buster" game. Like a helpless vegetable on the chopping board knowing that once upon a time I grew vigourously and fought back. My fight seems to have gotten up and walked off leaving me shockingly bitter and sour on the inside and I don't like this person. Not one bit. But in a contradiction, I know this isn't really me and some very tiny, far off voice inside me is shouting help, let me out.
On the outside, very few people know all this, but increasingly my friends are finding out - because I am talking more - and they have been magnificent throwing me lifelines. This year has been extraordinary on the friends front so the one thing I don't feel is alone. But this is still my life and despite a wonderful husband and friends I have this path to tread, but my feet just don't seem to be working.
Chastising myself and trying to get things into perspective has only contributed to the darkness. I feel enough guilt without adding more to the mix. "For God's sake, pull yourself together" I tell myself to little physical effect.
In early August my mother was showing strong intentions to blog therefore I felt an obviously stronger need to withdraw mine from eyesight. The whole world might be blogging but life is stranger than fiction and coincidences happen and she might just come across mine and recognise this or that. As it happens, I don't think she has taken forward blogging after all!
In mid August depression gripped so tight that after a weekend of tears I resolved to do something. On the Monday I went out to job agencies and by the Thursday I had started a temp job as a medical secretary in the oncology department of the local hospital. So maybe I might have fibbed about the extent of my experience as an audio typist but that did tickle me that I could go out and get a job and push the boundaries a tad. The pay is little above the minimum UK wage, but it is a regular 25 hours of work/income each week. Even through my depressions I continued to work, letting my hair fall over my eyes on those days the tears would not stop. I am still there and the work itself is a blog by itself.
Since that time I have also been plotting my morning temperature and my depressions and anything else of note. I had thought my monthly cycle had become irregular but so far it seems not, though the frequency of my severe one day depressions have been alarming, but they have actually been better of late. No surprise to know that I am writing this through one at present.
Currently 14 year old son has measles which I have been helping to nurse him through. He is having a rough time especially now with the itchyness of the rash. I never knew measles could be so itchy but it is like his skin is crawling and alive. I have tried various alternative aids but today Mr Doris has bought some Piriton so we will see if that eases and whether a better night sleep can be had by all.
Outside the leaves are creating rich blankets and as I passed through them earlier today I thought about a year ago when I didn't expect we would still be living here for another Autumn. That makes over 18 months our house has been on the market and we have slashed the price down to give it away but still nowt. Over a year my son has lived weekdays at my sister to go to school near her and comes home for the weekends. What was originally a six week exercise has pushed us beyond anything. I am not being physically beaten like as a child and yet I am not sure I have ever felt quite so cowed. My chest has sunken in and my right shoulder has dropped putting stress on the wrong muscles leading to a frozen shoulder. I have been in a lot of pain and my movements have been restricted. I sit typing at work wincing at times with discomfort. But no-one there knows, and the bigger picture is that the income, no matter how small, has been regular and well needed. I could, and should, be doing bigger and better things but I am unable.
Something so heavy is sitting on me and holding me back for something. Or, in my dark hours I ponder that I am done with and my life and usefulness is over.
Actually, my arm is on the mend. As is my belief in myself. The wonders of kinsesiology and the support of lovely friends hold me through. We might be renting our house instead of selling. An option I once dismissed might now turn out to be a viable and excellent way forward. This could even mean us moving before Christmas, maybe even in as little as three weeks! Then we can be together as a family. Finally landed. Starting afresh. I can't quite believe it will happen and that scares me.
Thank you dear kind blog friends for reading my message in a bottle!
Holding tight these days means hiding away. Curled up and hidden in my bed alternating between tears, blankness and tapping away at my Nintendo brain training "germ buster" game. Like a helpless vegetable on the chopping board knowing that once upon a time I grew vigourously and fought back. My fight seems to have gotten up and walked off leaving me shockingly bitter and sour on the inside and I don't like this person. Not one bit. But in a contradiction, I know this isn't really me and some very tiny, far off voice inside me is shouting help, let me out.
On the outside, very few people know all this, but increasingly my friends are finding out - because I am talking more - and they have been magnificent throwing me lifelines. This year has been extraordinary on the friends front so the one thing I don't feel is alone. But this is still my life and despite a wonderful husband and friends I have this path to tread, but my feet just don't seem to be working.
Chastising myself and trying to get things into perspective has only contributed to the darkness. I feel enough guilt without adding more to the mix. "For God's sake, pull yourself together" I tell myself to little physical effect.
In early August my mother was showing strong intentions to blog therefore I felt an obviously stronger need to withdraw mine from eyesight. The whole world might be blogging but life is stranger than fiction and coincidences happen and she might just come across mine and recognise this or that. As it happens, I don't think she has taken forward blogging after all!
In mid August depression gripped so tight that after a weekend of tears I resolved to do something. On the Monday I went out to job agencies and by the Thursday I had started a temp job as a medical secretary in the oncology department of the local hospital. So maybe I might have fibbed about the extent of my experience as an audio typist but that did tickle me that I could go out and get a job and push the boundaries a tad. The pay is little above the minimum UK wage, but it is a regular 25 hours of work/income each week. Even through my depressions I continued to work, letting my hair fall over my eyes on those days the tears would not stop. I am still there and the work itself is a blog by itself.
Since that time I have also been plotting my morning temperature and my depressions and anything else of note. I had thought my monthly cycle had become irregular but so far it seems not, though the frequency of my severe one day depressions have been alarming, but they have actually been better of late. No surprise to know that I am writing this through one at present.
Currently 14 year old son has measles which I have been helping to nurse him through. He is having a rough time especially now with the itchyness of the rash. I never knew measles could be so itchy but it is like his skin is crawling and alive. I have tried various alternative aids but today Mr Doris has bought some Piriton so we will see if that eases and whether a better night sleep can be had by all.
Outside the leaves are creating rich blankets and as I passed through them earlier today I thought about a year ago when I didn't expect we would still be living here for another Autumn. That makes over 18 months our house has been on the market and we have slashed the price down to give it away but still nowt. Over a year my son has lived weekdays at my sister to go to school near her and comes home for the weekends. What was originally a six week exercise has pushed us beyond anything. I am not being physically beaten like as a child and yet I am not sure I have ever felt quite so cowed. My chest has sunken in and my right shoulder has dropped putting stress on the wrong muscles leading to a frozen shoulder. I have been in a lot of pain and my movements have been restricted. I sit typing at work wincing at times with discomfort. But no-one there knows, and the bigger picture is that the income, no matter how small, has been regular and well needed. I could, and should, be doing bigger and better things but I am unable.
Something so heavy is sitting on me and holding me back for something. Or, in my dark hours I ponder that I am done with and my life and usefulness is over.
Actually, my arm is on the mend. As is my belief in myself. The wonders of kinsesiology and the support of lovely friends hold me through. We might be renting our house instead of selling. An option I once dismissed might now turn out to be a viable and excellent way forward. This could even mean us moving before Christmas, maybe even in as little as three weeks! Then we can be together as a family. Finally landed. Starting afresh. I can't quite believe it will happen and that scares me.
Thank you dear kind blog friends for reading my message in a bottle!
Sunday, 10 August 2008
Stealth Mode
I'm going under cover and putting this blog into password only. Not that I will necessarily be posting any more than I have of late but I'll explain another time.
If I haven't got round to emailing you a password then please feel free to email me for access.
Nothing mysterious, just is!
Hugs and love x
If I haven't got round to emailing you a password then please feel free to email me for access.
Nothing mysterious, just is!
Hugs and love x
Thursday, 31 July 2008
Anger, not fear
A book has come my way from "The Adult Children of Alcoholics Series". Entitled "The Self-Sabotage Syndrome: Adult Children in the Workplace". My parents are not apparently alcoholics, though at times they have not behaved well with alcohol but ACoCs is a term that can be used for anyone who has grown up in a dysfunctional family.
As an aside, I wonder how many people it takes for a family to become dysfunctional? Is just one mad parent enough and then everyone else runs around them? Or are we all within the family dysfunctional in our own sweet ways?
The term "adult children" speaks to me. Just by itself. And then the book begins with ascertaining that because of their upbringing ACoCs have no sense of what is "normal" saying "Adult Children of Alcoholics Guess at What Normal Is". Oh yes, that so resonates. That feeling of being always out on a limb and never being sure, of always feeling that I was making things up, of making up my own definitions to anything and everything. Which means that at any moment everything can come crashing down. Because I just made it up. Because I'm a fraud and I'm going to be caught out.
There is an aspect about ACoCs that I've read so far that I don't identify with and that is concerning my relationships and friendships. In fact just this month I have been realising that my friendships are one area of my life in which I am blessed and function really well. I'd don't feel all the pain and angst that I feel in other areas of my life and I wonder why that it is. Why, when my parents have not set any good examples of friendships in my childhood or since.
Laying in bed this morning thinking about this, with my constant self-analysis: stepping stones that tangle across my mind sometimes leaving me marooned in scary waters with no clear way across; I had a eureka moment. As a child we moved house and location about every two years. I never had good friendships as a kid so the moving actually became quite useful. I may not have had to face up to difficult situations in the long term, on the other hand I had plenty of experience of starting again. I actually welcomed the chance to start again and each time we moved, and being a kid, relationships were my priority. And I had plenty of chances to experiment. They were never right and I took a lot of hard knocks. I learned not to expect anything from anyone which was probably mainly due to my relationship with my parents, but reinforced by childhood relationships. I'm not sure what good things I learned from those times but I think I had the chance to find out what didn't work.
Since the age of seven I had the companionship and love of my little sister. This can not be under-estimated. I "had" to love her and protect her from the madness that was my mother. I became a mini-parent but more than that I was able to love her and she let me. Physical affection came from her, even if it was me holding her hand. When it came to me choosing between life or something else at 16 I had to walk away and leave her. Without saying a word. That was incredibly painful but she was already on her own destiny pathway and I knew she would make it. And she did. And we are very close now, but I think I still don't know the half of what she went through which makes me feel a little sad and selfish.
So when I left home at sixteen for the world of work I became the perfect ACoC employee and was easily exploited. But I was wide-eyed and enthralled by adult people. I loved meeting people and listening to them. I still am that wide-eyed girl and embrace people and situations in that way. I suppose luck comes into play that some beautiful people came into my life at different times throughout my life. I have had some friends come and go and I am still able to move on from places and leave people behind which does sound rather harsh and cold-hearted. But a core of people remain very special. A growing core even.
Boundaries in my friendships might have been a problem but I sorted that one pretty early by, on the one hand being able to love and be truly interested in other people and on the other to keep a tight reign on myself and not actually truly say too much about me. It wasn't until I was 31 years old that I told one of my girlfriends about some of my more difficult memories and then years go by and I only let out little tiny snippets. And then with my darling Mr Doris, one of my dearest friends, early on in our relationship I gave him something to read that I had written about me. Because I wanted him to know about the deep and dark depths I have. I didn't want to con him or for him to be shocked by someone different one day "when I might leak out". And then into my life comes someone who I had known of for years but suddenly we click and become immense friends and I find myself sharing depths. And then I get to my blogging years and I am haemorraghing all over the blog but in a way that has been constructive to me and now another friend is drawing depths out of me too that I didn't know I could share and I find I am changing.
Always a work in progress, for the first time in a very long time I feel like I am making progress. And this brings me to my anger. With the current financial situation in this world, life has dealt some interesting cards. Such that it seems likely when we sell our house, it won't be at a loss but there will not be much in the way of a profit. We will go into private rented and will start again with a clean slate. No debts. Just going forward and reconstruct. And in my self-analysis this morning I realised I am not scared of starting again. Picking myself and starting again is second nature to me. What I recognise is that I am so flaming angry about having to start again. My anger is such that it seethes underneath and leaks out in all the wrong places at the wrong times to the wrong people. Usually my kids but mainly directed back at me and internalised. I can feel it like a pit of badness inside me that I know has to stop or I'll be thoroughly ill.
Part of the ACoA thing is anger and anger issues. They flip out at the wrong time and inappropriately. I said that already but this is what the book says. I've never been allowed to be angry. Never known how to process anger properly. It always had to be subsumed and hidden because only my mother (or brother) could be angry. For a few months I have been aware of my feelings of anger. Like arrows flying off in all sorts of different directions and yet always avoiding the target but I don't know what the target is or should be. I don't want to be feeling this as I am not an angry and aggressive person but I suppose that is where the problem lays. I can not just feel anger and move on from it because I have seen anger as something to do with aggressiveness and as a whole character trait when that should not be the case. This area is a work in progress. And another diversion from what is probably needed - another ACoA trait. Apparently ACoAs have procrastination down to a fine art.
As an aside, I wonder how many people it takes for a family to become dysfunctional? Is just one mad parent enough and then everyone else runs around them? Or are we all within the family dysfunctional in our own sweet ways?
The term "adult children" speaks to me. Just by itself. And then the book begins with ascertaining that because of their upbringing ACoCs have no sense of what is "normal" saying "Adult Children of Alcoholics Guess at What Normal Is". Oh yes, that so resonates. That feeling of being always out on a limb and never being sure, of always feeling that I was making things up, of making up my own definitions to anything and everything. Which means that at any moment everything can come crashing down. Because I just made it up. Because I'm a fraud and I'm going to be caught out.
There is an aspect about ACoCs that I've read so far that I don't identify with and that is concerning my relationships and friendships. In fact just this month I have been realising that my friendships are one area of my life in which I am blessed and function really well. I'd don't feel all the pain and angst that I feel in other areas of my life and I wonder why that it is. Why, when my parents have not set any good examples of friendships in my childhood or since.
Laying in bed this morning thinking about this, with my constant self-analysis: stepping stones that tangle across my mind sometimes leaving me marooned in scary waters with no clear way across; I had a eureka moment. As a child we moved house and location about every two years. I never had good friendships as a kid so the moving actually became quite useful. I may not have had to face up to difficult situations in the long term, on the other hand I had plenty of experience of starting again. I actually welcomed the chance to start again and each time we moved, and being a kid, relationships were my priority. And I had plenty of chances to experiment. They were never right and I took a lot of hard knocks. I learned not to expect anything from anyone which was probably mainly due to my relationship with my parents, but reinforced by childhood relationships. I'm not sure what good things I learned from those times but I think I had the chance to find out what didn't work.
Since the age of seven I had the companionship and love of my little sister. This can not be under-estimated. I "had" to love her and protect her from the madness that was my mother. I became a mini-parent but more than that I was able to love her and she let me. Physical affection came from her, even if it was me holding her hand. When it came to me choosing between life or something else at 16 I had to walk away and leave her. Without saying a word. That was incredibly painful but she was already on her own destiny pathway and I knew she would make it. And she did. And we are very close now, but I think I still don't know the half of what she went through which makes me feel a little sad and selfish.
So when I left home at sixteen for the world of work I became the perfect ACoC employee and was easily exploited. But I was wide-eyed and enthralled by adult people. I loved meeting people and listening to them. I still am that wide-eyed girl and embrace people and situations in that way. I suppose luck comes into play that some beautiful people came into my life at different times throughout my life. I have had some friends come and go and I am still able to move on from places and leave people behind which does sound rather harsh and cold-hearted. But a core of people remain very special. A growing core even.
Boundaries in my friendships might have been a problem but I sorted that one pretty early by, on the one hand being able to love and be truly interested in other people and on the other to keep a tight reign on myself and not actually truly say too much about me. It wasn't until I was 31 years old that I told one of my girlfriends about some of my more difficult memories and then years go by and I only let out little tiny snippets. And then with my darling Mr Doris, one of my dearest friends, early on in our relationship I gave him something to read that I had written about me. Because I wanted him to know about the deep and dark depths I have. I didn't want to con him or for him to be shocked by someone different one day "when I might leak out". And then into my life comes someone who I had known of for years but suddenly we click and become immense friends and I find myself sharing depths. And then I get to my blogging years and I am haemorraghing all over the blog but in a way that has been constructive to me and now another friend is drawing depths out of me too that I didn't know I could share and I find I am changing.
Always a work in progress, for the first time in a very long time I feel like I am making progress. And this brings me to my anger. With the current financial situation in this world, life has dealt some interesting cards. Such that it seems likely when we sell our house, it won't be at a loss but there will not be much in the way of a profit. We will go into private rented and will start again with a clean slate. No debts. Just going forward and reconstruct. And in my self-analysis this morning I realised I am not scared of starting again. Picking myself and starting again is second nature to me. What I recognise is that I am so flaming angry about having to start again. My anger is such that it seethes underneath and leaks out in all the wrong places at the wrong times to the wrong people. Usually my kids but mainly directed back at me and internalised. I can feel it like a pit of badness inside me that I know has to stop or I'll be thoroughly ill.
Part of the ACoA thing is anger and anger issues. They flip out at the wrong time and inappropriately. I said that already but this is what the book says. I've never been allowed to be angry. Never known how to process anger properly. It always had to be subsumed and hidden because only my mother (or brother) could be angry. For a few months I have been aware of my feelings of anger. Like arrows flying off in all sorts of different directions and yet always avoiding the target but I don't know what the target is or should be. I don't want to be feeling this as I am not an angry and aggressive person but I suppose that is where the problem lays. I can not just feel anger and move on from it because I have seen anger as something to do with aggressiveness and as a whole character trait when that should not be the case. This area is a work in progress. And another diversion from what is probably needed - another ACoA trait. Apparently ACoAs have procrastination down to a fine art.
Tuesday, 1 July 2008
Blue liquorice layers
Eeeek! June is out and I didn't manage to squeeze in a quick post. Oh well. It was just to say that one thing and another I've been utterly busy and distracted. Done some good stuff and not done some other stuff. But I did manage a post on my other blog about last weekend at Sparkle.
Sunday, 8 June 2008
Dr Who & Big Brother
Big Brother lasted approximately eight minutes on the TV screen this evening before I felt so uncomfortable, squirming with embarrassment, it went off in favour of a documentary. It usually takes a week or two before I get to that stage as I actually quite like Big Brother.
At the end of the latest episode of my beloved Dr Who on Saturday was an announcement about a Trailer maker. I waited a suitable time for the rush to calm down and after a faltering start, when I nearly gave up, I've created my own Dr Who Trailer which can be seen here:
www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/trailermaker/view/7f0nxa
Of course I had to include "the kiss". If you are so inclined, you can make your own!
Nice productive day as I composed and printed up an Ode for a relative's 40th birthday later this week and made some photo collages.
At the end of the latest episode of my beloved Dr Who on Saturday was an announcement about a Trailer maker. I waited a suitable time for the rush to calm down and after a faltering start, when I nearly gave up, I've created my own Dr Who Trailer which can be seen here:
www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/trailermaker/view/7f0nxa
Of course I had to include "the kiss". If you are so inclined, you can make your own!
Nice productive day as I composed and printed up an Ode for a relative's 40th birthday later this week and made some photo collages.
Saturday, 7 June 2008
Smoked Haddock
Smoked Haddock on Cheddar Mash with Poached Egg and Hollandaise Sauce served with Spinach.
That's what I chose for lunch yesterday in a rather lovely old country house hotel restaurant in Staffordshire. After driving the wrong way and ending up driving small roads past green fields and through small villages with Classic FM pumping out rip-roaring greats such as Land of Hope and Glory.
I'm so glad that when my friend phoned on Thursday evening and asked me if I fancied joining her for lunch the next day that I said "yes". The weather was perfect sunshine and my friend had bagged the window seat for us with its plush high backed leather chairs.
And then once the ferocity of the sun had calmed down it was out in the garden for Strawberry Cheesecake with fresh strawberries and cream, and a coffee. Bliss.
That's what I chose for lunch yesterday in a rather lovely old country house hotel restaurant in Staffordshire. After driving the wrong way and ending up driving small roads past green fields and through small villages with Classic FM pumping out rip-roaring greats such as Land of Hope and Glory.
I'm so glad that when my friend phoned on Thursday evening and asked me if I fancied joining her for lunch the next day that I said "yes". The weather was perfect sunshine and my friend had bagged the window seat for us with its plush high backed leather chairs.
And then once the ferocity of the sun had calmed down it was out in the garden for Strawberry Cheesecake with fresh strawberries and cream, and a coffee. Bliss.
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