Sunday, 4 February 2007

Chicks in the nest

My first born has flown the nest. It has been a few days now and is a strange feeling but okay. Perhaps good will come of it and a new and better relationship can flourish.

In the beginning it was just me and my first born. She was so special and we had so much fun. Then through some very difficult times my wings held tightly around and cushioned her so her ride wouldn't be too bumpy. Then second born was hatched and we landed in a new nest. My wings spread round both of them and held them close as I built up our nest. Through ups and downs I held our nest together and grew my little chickadees.

Then one day Mr Doris flew in and his wings wrapped around us all. By then first born was nearly nine and second born was four years old. For the first time in my life I felt truly safe. That I could let go. And so I did. But letting go means letting go and I think first born felt it. I didn't mean it to and I think she has been fighting me ever since. Not that she expresses exactly what it is but there is an underlying anger.

Perhaps going off to fly where she wants, and making her own nest, will help her find what she is looking for. I hope that my first born can rediscover the love she and I had and that she can fly home freely. So many hopes and dreams.

Just second born now in the nest. Bursting with testosterone and doing his own thing. I feel the need to stretch out my wings and to hold him in lest he flies off too, but more than ever I need to let go. It is very difficult being mummy bird.

Thank goodness for Mr Doris. One day, before too long, it will just be us and he makes me feel so safe. And I hope my little chickadees will feel good to fly home to us occasionally. So many hopes and dreams.

Original Comments:

Britmum said...
Awww Doris big hugs to you. Such a strange time and one that I am not looking forward to. I know that I will have to let them go too but I can imagine its going to be tough. The trials a mother has to go through.

I am sure that your daughter will realise spreading her wings is harder than she thought and she will pop back to the nest often.

Take care and lots of hugs to you xx
Thursday, April 05, 2007 2:46:00 AM

Jo said...
Like Catherine I have to start with Awwwww :-)

Sweetheart - what a lovely, loving post! A big moment...but as it should be, you've trained her for the world and off she goes to make her way with all the love that you have given her over the years. And she will be back, as she grows and matures...she will, I'm sure.

And the next one is on his way too...which is great and healthy and what you need to happen, though it must be hard.

You come across as a lovely Mummy, keeping your wings wrapped around them when they needed it. And now your wonderful Mr Doris has his wrapped around you - which you so deserve.

Awwww (again) I'm getting all choked up here! ;-)

Major Hugs to a lovely Mummy Bird!
Thursday, April 05, 2007 2:11:00 PM

Chandira said...
Awww frim me, too.. yes, letting her go will help. Funny, I just wrote a long post on mother-daughter relationships. Yours is a bit different from my friend J's situation, you managed to let go, but the timing is odd.. It's not a regular topic of mine.

I love my mum again. It does go round full circle, I promise. :-)
Friday, April 06, 2007 11:51:00 PM

Doris said...
And thanks back to all three of you :-)

I have to admit there is already light. Daughter has only been gone just a shade over a week and already been back for two meals with us and a long sleep on the sofa! The best bit was to report that she was already fed up with the laziness of her flatmates and that they don't clean up their dishes. Hallelujah! Now she knows what it is like.

Good thing is that she is doing brilliantly well with her job and that I think she is coping well.

And on one of her many phone calls home I even got her to say she loved me on the mobile in front of the friends she had invited over to her place. She mumbled it when she didn't have to say it at all as I was only teasing her. So great :-D

And Chandira - I can't find the post you are talking about :-(
Saturday, April 07, 2007 7:36:00 AM