Sunday, 19 June 2005

Bitching and Christians

What is it about female bloggers proclaiming on their blogs they are Christian and in almost the same breath declaring their bitching prowess?

I am not a Christian so it is not that high horse I am on. But how can anyone who professes a spirituality - that is what being Christian or any other religion is about, isn't it? - also think it is humorous, clever, interesting or even nice to be a bitch?

Bitching is about putting people down; it's about commenting on them to their detriment and to your supposed benefit; it is about being unkind.

As a Christian (or any other faith) shouldn't we be kind and helpful towards each other and the world?

I'm not saying we shouldn't complain. Complaining is important as long as it is done right or constructively. So that someone can fix the problem either for you or for others, or so that we can understand better what has gone wrong.

I'm not saying we shouldn't have fun either.

Just quit the bitching as if it is some great thing to be doing or wanting to read about.

Original Comments:

Minerva said...

I so agree! Surely the central tenet of any religion should be and I reiterate the words SHOULD be...tolerance...because sadly, in our divisive world, it is all about being a member or something and excluding others. That insecurity probably manifests itself in the bitching...

Great thought provoking post..and michele sent me....

Sunday, June 19, 2005 11:20:00 AM

doris said...

Thanks Minerva. I once read some fabulous books (but I can't remember titles/authors!) that talked about belonging to a group and how divisive this was and how it led to conflict and even wars. Especially patriotism - the US does not have a monopoly on patriotism so I'm not pointing a finger at anyone in particular! It is just worth thinking about.

Coming back to the bitching, I think that if we all made the effort in small ways those little ripples can make a huge effect in our world.

I'm coming over to visit you :-)

Sunday, June 19, 2005 11:41:00 AM

Minerva said...

Doris - thank you so much for the comments on my blog - I really appreciated them...
I am linking to you...


Sunday, June 19, 2005 11:58:00 AM

Pearl said...

I've noticed that too. I have 2 guesses on it 1) that a person is many identities/ mutually excluvice roles and doesn't see a need to reconcile them
2) that bitch is a less severe word for some.

Sunday, June 19, 2005 12:09:00 PM

doris said...

Hi Pearl and thanks for commenting. I've just been onto your blog (well, one of them!) and like the way you think, write and the pics :-)

About your guesses:

1) Do we need to reconcile our different identities? That makes me think and although I have different identities that really the essence of me goes through each so I feel I am consistent in how I think. Perhaps others feel the same about themselves - that basically they are 'real' no matter which identity they are in, or maybe this is too far up my backside. Hmm.

2) I quite agree. Ironically, I think my original post could be termed as a "bitch" about bitching but I wouldn't call it such. I think the words we use are important and the connotations for bitch are not good and are not compatible with a so-called spiritual life.

Perhaps my gripe is not really with bitching but with people who follow a religious life without really thinking about what it means and putting it into practise in their own life and in everything they do.

Sunday, June 19, 2005 1:12:00 PM

Bubblehead said...

Here via the meet n greet.

Truthfully, I thnk if some of these women gave up bitching they'd have nothing to say at all.

Sunday, June 19, 2005 5:39:00 PM

doris said...

Well Bubblehead, I'd like to think there is more hope for humanity.

Happy Anniversary - I just read your post declaring your undying love for your wife. Wonderful :-)

Sunday, June 19, 2005 5:55:00 PM

Cheryl said...

To some people God is an insurance policy. And I risk playing specks and beams there so as a believer I shall shut up right now!
One phrase in the bible that terrifies me is in Revelation, God speaking to one of the seven churches of the time: But thou art neither hot nor cold so I shall spit thee out of my mouth.

Sunday, June 19, 2005 8:51:00 PM

jane said...

Right on Doris! If there is 1 word I believe encircles God, its LOVE. All of the descriptions you mentioned point to that. No religion should have fun, intended or not, at anybody else's expense. Some people must put down others to feel elevated.
Great insight!

Sunday, June 19, 2005 9:44:00 PM

momma said...

Bingo! I was referred to your blog by Mrs Dof. Upon reading this post I had to Comment too. I'm the Mom of Stupid Evil Bastard At Jenkinsonlin.Net and though I don't totally agree with his reasoning on religion I have a tendancy to think more along his lines. I fear for my country because I see many who are turning a blind eye to science, logical thinking, and tolerance. So help me I don't want to see our young chanting and rocking over a religious text or marching in armies sworn to change the way people live!

Monday, June 20, 2005 1:08:00 AM

Sylvia said...

You are bitching about people bitching!!! How are you any better? And what is so bad about being a "bitch" anyway?? The word "bitch" is just a term used to insult and degrade women who are assertive; women who step outside of traditional docile, subservient ,feminine roles. So if an assertive, confident, capable and independent woman is being a "bitch", most real women are guilty as charged and proud of it. There is no conflict with being a bitch and being a spiritual person.

Monday, June 20, 2005 4:29:00 AM

doris said...

Hi Cheryl

I looked up that quote in the Bible Rev.3:16 and it was interesting to read it as an outsider and not as one who has had the full force of indoctrination. It's just saying don't be lukewarm and to stand up for what you believe in...

Hi Jane

Thanks for your insights and clarifications too! [I hope you had a lovely return of the Tarzan ;-)]

Hi Momma

Nice to see you :-) I think I'd like to write more in the future about the world, religion and science. In looking through the Bible last night, and reading a blog with Bible texts, I read some powerful lines when, if you stand back from them, it makes you say hang on here, this is describing some massive electrical storms and planetary instabilities far greater than any we can realise. If you are seeing these things in the sky you are going to think that God has shown his hand - and all these years later society continues to see it as the "Bible Stories" (and all the other religious texts have their share of these catastrophes) as a means of control. (Oops, this more than I intended to write just now!)

Hi Sylvia

Lovely of you to come over and to post. I enjoyed looking through your blog yesterday - you have some funny pics!

It certainly looks like I am bitching about bitching which is quite ironical. Except that I am not specifically announcing that I am a Bitch and am not doing that hand in hand with saying that I'm this or that Christian. I think that is the difference.

There are too many negative thoughts and words in this world and from all these little negative snipes left, right and centre add up to some powerful bad energy. I think that is what's wrong with being a Bitch per se.

The word Bitch is thrown around and I agree it is wrongly used to label assertive sassy women - there aren't enough of us and it does my head in when if you aren't compliant you are called a Bitch.

Finally you said, "There is no conflict with being a bitch and being a spiritual person." I still think there is a conflict.

Ta-ta :-)

Monday, June 20, 2005 9:07:00 AM

Sylvia said...

I disagree. The negative energy comes from those that believe being a bitch is a bad thing. Once you take the negativity away from the word, it loses it's power. Women have been called bitches, and have been called that name as a way to keep them from asserting themselves, "Oh, I had better not stand up for myself, less I be called a bitch." When people know that you don't mind being called a bitch, they stop using the word - it loses it's power. Words are only words, and they have negative effects only if you let them. Our society has gotten used to the idea that it is ok to supress women, and to continue to give power to these words further demarginalizes women.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005 3:56:00 AM

doris said...

Hello Sylvia

Thank you for taking the time to continue and try to explain further.

There is something in what you say that I wholeheartedly agree with. That is about taking negativity away from a word and thereby removing the negative energy. Some examples for me are not believing in the superstitions: spilling salt; walking under ladders; breaking mirrors; etc If you believe in them then I think you manifest that bad luck - that negative energy.

Similarly, if you believe in evil then there is powerful energy in that and if you don't believe then it can completely undermine it and it ceases to exist.

I can see what you are saying that it is because I think bitching hand in hand with Christianity is creating the bad energy rather than the words actually being said but I have to disagree still whilst accepting a bit of that - my bit that I am responsible for.

I take on board what you are saying about the political connotations of the word Bitch and how it can be used to suppress women.

However, the act of bitching usually involves making negative comments about someone/something for no good purpose. That surely can not be acceptable?

Tuesday, June 21, 2005 5:16:00 PM

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