Laying on my bed reading my latest book, about Tesla's life, I stopped reading to think about what I had read. My mind went off on one of those little obscure journeys it does flitting from one thing to the next when I got to thinking about school life.
I was about eight years old when I was first sent to the headmaster's office for my constant lateness. The lateness was down to my home life and having to make sure the house was cleaned and hoovered before I was able to leave for school. My mother wouldn't let me leave unless it was in a fit state. And then on the way to school I'd try and make up for my miserable life by trying to find an elusive and allegedly lucky, four-leafed clover. I never, ever, found one and I'd end up even later still.
Finally I was sent to the headmaster's office for the lateness. It was terrifying sitting outside the door waiting for I don't know what, when I decided to try and distract myself from the impending doom. (Life is so dramatic when you are a kid!) In a flash I realised I needed a hobby and one that didn't require cost or equipment so I took up "surfaces" as a hobby. Bear with me, this is madness. There I am outside the headmaster's office with my face scrunched up against the walls looking along the surfaces. Noting the smoothness, the roughness, the dents and dips, all sorts. I was quite pleased with myself as I reckoned it was a great hobby and one that I could do anywhere.
The distraction obviously worked because I really can not remember how it went with the headmaster or what happened next. But all these years later I can still see those surfaces and how the corridor looked outside the headmaster's office.
Another time I was sent to the headmaster was when I was 16. I had found myself a job, accommodation and a new life and run away from home. I was away for a very successful week which is another story, but because I had told just one friend an idea of where I had gone, she cracked under pressure from my parents and I was hauled home once they had found me.
It was with great humiliation I appeared as requested at the headmaster's office together with my mother. He went on and on and then turned to me in his booming voice and asked "what have you got to say for yourself young girl?". I didn't know I thought. What sort of question was that. I couldn't tell him the truth of my home life and as my mind whirred overtime I thought I wasn't going to say I was sorry and in any case I knew that if I said sorry he would just go on and on as it was just a facile response. So I said what I think any self-respecting, under-developed, under-sized scrap of a girl would do and I told him quite confidently in response "I want to join the navy". On reflection, as an adult, I think my response completely undermined the situation and he did his utmost not to laugh at the absurdity of it all. He didn't laugh but I don't think the lecture lasted for too long after that.
Original Comments:
Would we change what happened, knowing it would change who we are? Its difficult. But I have to say that luck or that childhood fashioned you into a very independant, strong, reliable, resilient, quick thinking and caring person, and into someone determined to see joy, to look for the cracks in the clouds.
So ner. xxxxxx
As to whether these experiences craft us into the people we are today then there is no doubt there has to be an element. But I reckon there is another element which comes from within and is unique to everyone that converts our experiences into positive or negative behaviours. And heaven knows, I have had enough negative internal mechanisms going on and to overcome.
After much self-analysis and therapy I am over my childhood so it is no longer an issue - but it is interesting for me to share this now. And to talk about situations I have never told anyone.
I actually thought this story was quite funny! You know how it is having to be parked outside a head teacher's office can be so scary for a kid.
Ooo - hello Fidget, I shall come visit.
Cheryl - thank goodness for our brilliant kids with their quips.
Continued prayers and thoughts for your friends and family...
Running away from home is never easy... Are you still in contact with the home front now... I left home (leaving just a note) 5 years ago and since 3 years we've been in contact again... I must say it does feel good to have 'm back in my life again.. although things have changed a lot between us...
Take care
PS. On a funny note, excuse the pun, did you have to think hard as to where to leave the note? I did and found that the back of the fridge was quite good. You see, I had had a failed attempt to leave in which my brother intercepted me so this time I left with minimum stuff (the first time I even packed my typewriter!) and with stealth so that I could get as much distance before it was realised.
Heaven forbid if my kids should ever have to go to the efforts I did. My daughter is 15 and hopefully a lot happier than I ever was.
The hurt you felt as a child came thru loud & clear. So sorry.
Not sure if this is a hobby so much as a habit but as I child I started scratching paper. Every type of paper had a unique feel to it. Newspaper was (still is) very grainy to be so thin. And construction paper made ther hair on my arms stand up. To this day I catch myself scratching paper. Perhaps "surface" hobbies aren't so odd afterall. (Why did I just tell you this?)
Anyway, you are a wonderful storyteller. Thanks for sharing.
Karen - Ahhh, did you ever tell your teacher the real reason why you were late?
Milt - Enjoy! I did.... and still do! :-)
Jane - Glad you laughed because I did once I re-read what I had written. The whole scenario is just absurd.
Hello Presentstorm - we've visited each other before.
It is true I have been ever so lucky in so many ways. I could never have guessed back then the wonderful life I have now. There is something to be said for not giving up.
But isn't it great to be an adult and away from all that! :-)
Still....
I never held a grudge for long.
I read "Tesla: The Modern Sorcerer", by Daniel Blair Stewart and loved it! I realize that a lot of people say it's for kids, but even most of the critics said they enjoyed it. I want to read Tesla's autobiography, but haven't gotten around to it yet...
By the way, you've said that you and your husband are interested in Velikovsky. Well, I just found a very interesting site run by a group of historians who are preserving Velikovsky's unpublished works. I already printed out "In the Beginning" and I'm almost done with it! It makes "Worlds in Collision" look tame!
http://www.varchive.org/
It is Tesla: Man out of Time Margaret Cheney
I'm still reading it so it hasn't been quite as compelling but I'm still enjoying it otherwise I wouldn't continue.
Your book sounds great! There are a lot of so-called kids books which I think more adults should read. I understand that when computers were becoming more popular that the children's Ladybird book on Computers was the first book of choice for the British Civil Service! It was good - I bought a copy too.
Thanks for the link. I know little about Velikovsky so am always delighted when someone else knows of him.