Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Croak and splutter

Here I am, once again, weeks later and still with an impressive cough. My voice croaks but at good times sounds impressively gravelly and sexy. I am taking really good supplements and my diet is not too bad. I drink plenty of fluids. I have dabbled again in hydrogen peroxide therapy but can not seem to get past about five or six drops of the stuff at any one time. Dairy is eliminated from my diet apart from one or two isolated incidents which I will endeavour to also desist from. And I have been back on my warrior diet for over a month now, which is about the body healing itself rather than being just in growth mode. I am writing this down here as an aide memoir.

It seems to me that possibly I seem to have a weakness in my coughing faculties. Or perhaps, it is not a weakness and is a strength? How is that for a positive spin ..... after all, my body is trying to expel whatever it is .... so what am I trying to hold on to? Maybe that is at the heart of it all.

Or maybe instead of having my lifelong monthly migraine blowouts, which I no longer have except on a rare occasion these days, my body has transferred to the cough/cold as its illness of choice? It would be true to recognise that I have had an emotionally battered time during the first months of this year. Coping with a dying friend and even though it is not I that is ill, there is something about life and death which keeps punching you in the gut. Something about the mysteries of life as well as actually seeing someone in difficulty and discomfort.

Sometimes I feel like my shoulders are too tiny to cope with the things I do. Or is that just the little child in me wanting to run away or to have an all powerful parent to come and protect.

At this moment, the sun is shining through the windows straight into my eyes. The windows are already open with the cool fresh air of the morning sweeping through. The house is quiet and son will soon be up to get dressed smartly for work: luckily his journey is only a few minutes and he is on flexi time so he will not be late. I might still go give him a call. Mr Doris goes to bed late so he earns the right to get up late... so it is just me here right now with the lovely breeze, and my cough.


Anji said...

I cough all the time - not a lot but it is there. An Xray in the autumn showed nothing. Allergies perhaps?

I hope that my son finds a flexitime job close to where he lives when he joins the job market; it sounds ideal

Have a good Tuesday.

Mad Baggage said...

Meta-Health says that a shocking fear or loss of speech (not knowing what to say, or being paralysed with fear/grief/anxiety) will result in a cell reduction and dilatation of the larynx, to improve breathing, and that release from the emotion allows the body to release the stress response, causing a swelling in the throat instead. Which would mean you could welcome your sore or itchy throat/cough/trouble breathing as a sure sign of your resilience and ability to go in to resolution. xxx

alan said...

I'll just cross my fingers and hope that now, reading this so much later, your cough is long gone and life is being kind on every front!


Doris said...

Thank you all, I am on the mend and have been very busy. Still have a bit of a cough, though only slight and I feel my voice has kept a certain sexy quality from the hoarseness!

Please may this latest cough mean I am welcoming resolution in my life :-)

Doris x