This post has a wonderful outcome Suicidee did not die!
Last night my 16 year old daughter witnessed a young man kill himself.
She was out with a friend celebrating her friend's 18th birthday. On their way home, in the early hours, they crossed a railway bridge. On the other side, perched up on the wall was a young man shaking and rocking. Daughter and friend didn't know what to do and didn't want to speak to the man in case anything they said made him jump or fall.
They called the police and waited across the road. The police arrived and tried to talk the man down but he became more distressed so the police backed off a bit. The police continued gently but the man was shouting how he had lost everything and lost his girlfriend. The young man turned towards the road and crouched down and looked for all the world as if he was going to get down. In a moment he pushed himself back and fell shouting "I just want to die".
We don't know for sure that he was killed but the sight of the man's crumpled body across the train tracks haunts my daughter. Along with the image of him crouched and going backwards off the bridge.
She is coping much better than I reckon I would. She is exhausted and now sleeping. Apparently she had phoned us during the night but we didnt hear the phone calls and messages she left. She felt the need to speak to us. I just can't believe it and want to hug her but she's not the cuddly type - not with me anyway. I want her to live and experience life but I'm not sure I really want her or anyone to go through this.
Daughter is in shock and just doesn't know what she feels. She's numb. She wonders that if she didn't call the police whether the guy might have changed his mind and gotten down. Life is full of "what ifs".
How awful the young man felt the need to take this action - that things were that bad. Goodness only knows how his ex-girlfriend will feel once she knows. Then there are the police officers who tried to talk him down. And then there are people like my daughter and her friend who do not know this man and yet have been included in this moment in time.
It is a terrible situation and my heart goes out to my daughter. I'm sure she will be OK given time. We've talked and tried to reassure her that there are no right answers but she certainly did the right thing by calling the police.
Very sad all round.
Original Comments:
Tuesday, 31 January 2006
Monday, 30 January 2006
BT Step-Family Ad
Many TV adverts bug me with their negative attitudes of people wanting to out-do others or being mean and selfish by not sharing "the product" because it is so wonderful. So it is always refreshing when there is a nice ad out.The latest is becoming a series from the same advertising house that gave us the Yellow Pages ads (cutting niece's hair); the charming Dulux paint ads (we'll match your colours to some plasticine model); and the Guiness wild horses ad but I don't like that one so much.
I remember back to the 1990s when they first started to include black and Asian people in ads in a non-sensational and obvious "we are including the token black" way. Although non-white people appeared in ads before then, that was about the first time in the UK that non-white people were presented in ads because they were people and not because it was aimed at enticing a black audience or trying to show how cool the company were for having non-white people in their ad. (I could be wrong about the dates but this is what I felt.)
Families have been portrayed differently over the years. The OXO family ads come to mind. They were good to a point and then they seemed to be making a point about different family structures as we moved away from the stereotypical 2.4 family structure and now those ads have been done away with altogether.
So the latest ad to wow me is the reformed family in the BT series of ads .... the guy who has met a girl, well a woman actually, who has two kids of her own. It shows his growing relationships with all three of them obviously assisted by the internet (provided by BT) to help with homework or finding love tunes. It is charming and gentle and doesn't present as obviously trying to make an issue of being a re-formed or step family. It just seems to be a mini-movie about a budding relationship.
There isn't conflict within the family, although the adults are finding it difficult at times to have moments together, and it isn't over the top wonderful happy families. The guy is handsome and amenable. He isn't shown as a bumbling fool.
There are at least two ads and this is the first one. I feel this series of ads deserves awards and to be noted. Of course I am biased having been a mother with two children and meeting the man of my dreams who has taken the time and care to develop relationships with us all.
Original Comments:
- Writer Mom said...
- Very sweet! And it's Colin Frissell from Love Actually (one of my favorite films).
*Gonna tell my ad man brother about this. He'll appreciate the feedback, I'm sure.
Particularly, reducing the bumbling male stereotype.
- Cheryl said...
- Lovely. I agree, I really like this one - the Nescafe couple of its times.
They could really have fun with the kind of challenges that come up.
Been there too, Doris.
- Milt Bogs said...
- My current favourite is a crummy Egg bank advert. The one with a family of guinea pigs. The part I really like is where the baby of the family rolls on his back on the floor. I can't stand the rest of the advert, just that bit. Sad really.
- Pookie65 said...
- What a great ad! Doris, you always manage to teach me something new every time I visit your blog -- which is just about daily, my dear.
OK -- not to get off track but I have to ask WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? when a whole series of ads for femine hygen products came out featureing the mother/daughter routine.
The mother & daughter are either sitting in a cafe, walking hand in hand on a beach, gardening, cooking, or simply standing in line in a store. THEN....the daughter looks at mom and asks her "what do you do on those not so fresh days?"
The mother ALWAYS smiles sweetly and replies with something like, "Well, I use (product X)and (insert product endorsement)"
Doris, does this really, truly ever happen? I mean come on! I've always wanted to know the logic behind these commericals. It's either a faux bonding thing that the AD execs think the consumer is too stupid to believe or you females really do have such conversations.
Most teenage girls won't even talk to their mothers PERIOD. Much less about the "freshenss" (or lack of) they feel during their monthly cycle. Please help me out here.
I know that you of all people won't sugar coat the truth from me.
Hugs & fresh feelings from the other side of the sea!
Pookie
- She Weevil said...
- What a lovely thing to say about your husband/partner.
I like the advert too: they certainly capture something of the quiet love that getting it right eventually brings.
- doris said...
- Writer Mom I guess that's how ideas travel - by word of mouth :-)
Cheryl Yes, the Nescafe couple... they were great too.
Milt I only saw the baby guinea pig last night as I had never watched it from the beginning and I can see what you mean... you are a bit of a softy :-)
Pookie LOL If my daughter asked me "what do you do on those not so fresh days?" I'd probably quip that I'd ask her to put her socks in the wash, or ask her what on earth she was talking about.
Sadly, I'm lucky to get within inches of my teenage daughter let alone hold her hand.
Sadly she refuses to let me chat, even superficially, about the Mooncup I gave her. I've tried to let her know how fresh I feel (!!!!) because it is that good but she does not want to know/hear.
My mother would not talk about such things with me and I wouldn't with her.
At least in my world, this sort of thing does not happen. It is a glossy ideal from the ad companies and I am not aware of a similar ad here. Such an ad would end up making me feel somewhat wanting in the mother/daughter relationship department.
She Weevil :-)
And moving on... something big has happened concerning my daughter and reflects, I suppose, on the good relationship we actually have. A blog post coming.
- doris said...
- Ella M LOL You are one of a kind and I'd agree it would be truly marvellous and amazing to have you represented in a positive and honest light!
- ella m. said...
- I don't think your biased, it is always good to see someone like yourself given light in the advertising that is becoming an ever pervasive part of Western culture.
I'd be doing backflips if I ever saw people anything like me in an ad for anything other than annoying angsty bands.
- doris said...
- That is amazing..... I seem to have responded to you Ella BEFORE you posted your message!!!!
- Jo said...
- Hey wow, yes you did Doris! Was reading your reply to Ella thinking 'Hmmm, have missed something...'
Great to see non white ethnic minorities portrayed in ads just as, well...entirely unremarkable, regular characters! BT does have a pedigree of doing this from time to time.
There's also a Pizza (Hut?) ad out at the moment which features a black family eating a pizza (some gag about maths). Fairly lousy ad, but good to see the casting (and if you look closely I think there's this old Chinese guy sitting behind them too!)
Despite the progress, getting companies to cast their commercials in this way can still be tough (you'd think it would be no issue these days, but sadly it still is). Casting people and directors in ad agencies don't 'overtly' discriminate, it's more 'institutional' than that still - with non white actors just being invited to audition less often, and predominantly white people being presented in casting reels. This avoids the potential 'difficulty' of a client choosing to turn down a black actor, for example, and 'worrying' that he/she will be seen to be racist in doing so.
But it is changing. I gather some European countries are way behind, and naked racism is far more obvious in this area - you'll be heard pushed to find any non white people in any ads at all in some countries. I once heard of a campaign that was being made in the UK to run around Europe, featuring black actors (for a very particular reason, the brand was using an oblique message about racial discrimination.) All was fine, till the French company saw the script and said they just couldn't use it 'because they would be firebombed'.
This was a few years back now. But not that long ago...
- Z said...
- I think they'll find that in most families - it is time spent on the internet which prevents time being spent as a family.
Not always the case but you can bet your last penny that it is statistically speaking MORE the case. And this is the point of the whole advert - i.e. to show that the internet does not HAVE to drive a family apart.
But, yeah, it paints a nice picture.
- doris said...
- Thanks Jo and Z. I'm sorry I have not come back to your comments and that is one of my faults.... once other stuff crops up then I seem to have moved on and am not in that head space at the mo.
- Astryngia said...
- I already always think of you when I see that ad!!! :-)
Friday, 27 January 2006
Volume Control
Son's eleven year old friend sat at the dinner table with us tonight. Small talk turned to his interest and aptitude with speakers. He takes them apart, re-wires them and builds them bigger and better. Mr Doris was able to take a great interest as being a child nerd he did similar and knows all about woofers and watts per channel and the rest. Conversation continued with Mr Doris expressing suitable awe about vibrations from the volume.Young friend continued. He said, "you can really hear it at number 5".
Knowing that his house was near the top of a road I said jokingly, "and you live at number 48?" He looked at me blankly whilst daughter remarked that I was surprisingly fast tonight. I thanked her for her compliment and then proceeded to seriously ask him which number he did live at. "158" he replied quizzically. I was left stumped until the penny dropped and realised he had been referring to number 5 on the volume dial and not the house next door.
There was me thinking the volume was so loud that you could hear it next door at number 5! "You can really hear it at number 5" kept repeating in my brain and then me mistaking it for the house number instead of the volume, I couldn't stop laughing for most of the dinner. I was like the laughing man in the funfair in which you put a penny to make him laugh. My daughter laughed at my laughing, we both had tears coming down our faces and I had to keep checking with young friend that he really understood I wasn't laughing at him but at my own misunderstanding.
I'm still chuckling :-D
Original Comments:
- Cheryl said...
-
:D
Doh!
(tagged you for a meme, for once 100% opinion and suitably anonymous) - Carol said...
-
That is so funny. I love it when folk misunderstand stuff like that. Actually, that is probably one of the things that makes me laugh the most - innocent misunderstandings :-)
- Pearl said...
-
:-) And yet it worked as witticism.
That would be one super sub-woofer. - jane said...
-
It's so funny when we perceive something other than how it was meant. I can just picture you rethinking it throughout dinner. :)
- rashbre said...
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Its great to be tipsy with humour in good company.
Of course Spinal Tap's amplifiers went all the way up to 11 and that was really loud, so living at a high address must have its consolations.
rashbre - Pookie65 said...
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Dinner time in your house sounds like such an adventure. Your children are going to have some precious memories to carry with them forever.
- Anji said...
-
I have moments like that: They put me into another room.
- Jo said...
-
Like Rashbre, I immediately thought of Spinal Tap's amps going up 'to number 11'...
:-) - MrsDoF said...
-
This made me think of Marty McFly in one of the Back to the Future movies where he turned the knob of the amp all the way up then the sound broke the glass of the windows in the garage.
It's so nice that your daughter caught on and that the laughter took a life of its own.
Having 11 year old boys at the dinner table is a guarantee for miscommunication and grins.
Nowadays, I miss those times. Be glad you wrote and captured the moment. - Badaunt said...
-
I love that sort of misunderstanding. One time The Man was talking about some item of clothing he didn't like the colour of (it had faded, or something) and he was holding it up in front of himself and I told him, "Maybe you should dye it."
He was REALLY INDIGNANT, and it took me a while to figure out why.
Tip-toeing through the tu***
This post re-published December 2012
Families.
Looking out for sensitivities, being kind and listening, sharing, but most of all having to step through the minefield of feelings. Being careful of not mis-repeating what the next person said and yet having to be the conduit of information between widespread relatives.
Everyone is acknowledging how difficult my role is and yet I am still having stuff shat on me from a height. Either that or they give me space because of course I'm a busy woman. It is either/or.
At some point I am going to write a plea and give it to every family member. Suggesting that we draw a line under the past and find a way forward. Explaining that everyone has a different viewpoint of exactly the same situation and that each could be more compassionate and understanding of the next person's experience or feelings or opinions.
On the other hand, I could get a gun and put one of them out of their misery and leave the rest to get on with it!
LOL I'm OK but sometimes I get a bit upset by people's attitudes.
On the everso exciting side, two of my new found relatives have booked flights to come visit in a couple of months :-)
Families.
Looking out for sensitivities, being kind and listening, sharing, but most of all having to step through the minefield of feelings. Being careful of not mis-repeating what the next person said and yet having to be the conduit of information between widespread relatives.
Everyone is acknowledging how difficult my role is and yet I am still having stuff shat on me from a height. Either that or they give me space because of course I'm a busy woman. It is either/or.
At some point I am going to write a plea and give it to every family member. Suggesting that we draw a line under the past and find a way forward. Explaining that everyone has a different viewpoint of exactly the same situation and that each could be more compassionate and understanding of the next person's experience or feelings or opinions.
On the other hand, I could get a gun and put one of them out of their misery and leave the rest to get on with it!
LOL I'm OK but sometimes I get a bit upset by people's attitudes.
On the everso exciting side, two of my new found relatives have booked flights to come visit in a couple of months :-)
10 Comments:
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Yikes! I'd be nervous of two of them coming to visit Not at the same time? Could be explosive.
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Oh no.... the two that are coming are wonderful and most welcome. It is my other relatives I have concerns about.
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Sounds so very much like my family! My mum and all her
idiot stubborn sisters and brothers. I want to bang all their damn heads
together and I forget who the 'adults' are.. Though I guess at almost
34 I do qualify now. ;-)
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Oh WOW
Family!
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What a thoroughly ungrateful post of mine. I'm sorry.
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Nonsense! You are the least likely person to be labelled 'ungrateful' I can think of!
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Ah, relatives curious folk. Our neighbour came home and
found his boisterous sister (whom he had not seen in nearly 7 years) had
talked her way into the building and was waiiting for him at the door
with her baggage when he got home from work. Surprise few day visit.
lol.
-
The last five years, I've found myself drawn to the quieter family members...both mine, and my husband's side.
I was losing the battle of fitting in. Holidays were excruciating.
I think it started when I overheard an aunt murmuring something under her breath that I was thinking at the exact moment.
Something like, "These people are NUTS!"
I have close bonds with all of the outsiders now, and it's wonderful.
Friends IN the family...very nice.
I'm so happy to hear you're reconnecting with the wonderful ones.
-
doris said...
What a thoroughly ungrateful post of mine. I'm sorry.
I must disagree with you Doris I cant see you as ungrateful. The way I see it you are just having a bit of a grumble to a group of friends. It isnt malicious or hurtful just a grumble, we all do it and then look back and think oh i shouldnt have moaned about that but it was the right thing to say at the time.
-
Steve Thanks for your philosophy - it helps! :-)
Tuesday, 24 January 2006
Deck of cards in Wonderland
This post re-published December 2012
Things became distorted in the story "Alice in Wonderland". Things became large or small and did so before your very eyes. To the extent that I have read somewhere it is likened to the symptoms of some migraines and I know that my vision has been distorted and I've looked at my hands or body and they were "not of me" and felt larger or smaller in relation to the surroundings.
My life is like a deck of cards. Lots of events represented by each card. Sometimes the cards are reasonably neat and in a reasonable order in a pile. At the moment my deck of cards are spread out in front of me and they keep stretching and compacting. The last few are juggling round in order but these are minor but still a kind of a Eureka moment. "Oh, so that is why" or "so that happened just before that".
So much happened in my life in such short periods of time. I hadn't quite grasped that. Maybe it was more comfortable to spread it out in my mind but it explains why my younger life was quite so difficult.
And then there are days like the last few. For example I wrote my last blog on Sunday morning but by Sunday evening because so much ground was covered (or uncovered) I was sure it was a couple of days before.
I haven't responded to all the lovely words of encouragement, support and congratulations in my last post. I'm afraid I barely step out of my own blog these days and even barely step into it either. But I have been receiving the emails of comments. Thank you it has meant a lot and touched me.
So much to do - so many relatives to pass information and photographs and facilitate their own points of contact. It is truly wonderful, happy and emotional stuff. And so many people grieving for a death some 34 years ago and especially the immediate family who perhaps never grieved properly at the time and are now sharing.
So much healing.
And me too :-)
Things became distorted in the story "Alice in Wonderland". Things became large or small and did so before your very eyes. To the extent that I have read somewhere it is likened to the symptoms of some migraines and I know that my vision has been distorted and I've looked at my hands or body and they were "not of me" and felt larger or smaller in relation to the surroundings.
My life is like a deck of cards. Lots of events represented by each card. Sometimes the cards are reasonably neat and in a reasonable order in a pile. At the moment my deck of cards are spread out in front of me and they keep stretching and compacting. The last few are juggling round in order but these are minor but still a kind of a Eureka moment. "Oh, so that is why" or "so that happened just before that".
So much happened in my life in such short periods of time. I hadn't quite grasped that. Maybe it was more comfortable to spread it out in my mind but it explains why my younger life was quite so difficult.
And then there are days like the last few. For example I wrote my last blog on Sunday morning but by Sunday evening because so much ground was covered (or uncovered) I was sure it was a couple of days before.
I haven't responded to all the lovely words of encouragement, support and congratulations in my last post. I'm afraid I barely step out of my own blog these days and even barely step into it either. But I have been receiving the emails of comments. Thank you it has meant a lot and touched me.
So much to do - so many relatives to pass information and photographs and facilitate their own points of contact. It is truly wonderful, happy and emotional stuff. And so many people grieving for a death some 34 years ago and especially the immediate family who perhaps never grieved properly at the time and are now sharing.
So much healing.
And me too :-)
6 Comments:
-
I'm glad to hear that despite everything you and your
family have been through, you all have still found enough hope to love
and to start to heal old wounds. :hugs: Hope everything continues on
such a positive path.
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Thanks Ella!
Each day brings something new in the email and each day brings a tear over something but mainly happiness.
And each day is so darned packed writing to this or that person, or speaking on the phone for an hour or so and tip-toing over the sensitivities.
But it is all positive stuff!
-
Oh Doris, I'm at a loss for words. I read your past few entries and am just speechless.
You are an amazing woman with a wonderful husband and children. Add to this your ability to go forward given so many ugly things in the past and end up so happy. That just speaks volumes about your strength and enthusiasm for life.
God love you, hon. I am just honored to be able to call someone liek you my friend.
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(((((((Doris))))))
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Sadness, respect, hugs, and love.
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It sounds like you are regaining an entire extended family, and a past. How exciting - and frightening. You are brave.
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OMG that is just awful - so traumatic for your poor daughter. What a terrible thing to have to go thru.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006 7:26:00 PM
Would it be worth phoning the police to ask? I should imagine that not knowing makes it worse. If the worst came to the worst, its almost certain to be in the local papers inside the next week?
I don't think the police send unqualified people out to potential suicides, and I don't suppose that someone intending to finish it all could give two hoots for authority or a uniform, or even a crowd if there was one, none of which matter if you're dead, so there was nothing else there to make him more inclined.
She did a wonderful thing. Others would have chickened out, convincing themselves it was none of their business, or that someone else must have already called. You must be so proud of her.
If it helps I know a girl who supposedly OD'd, and fell, shaking, from the science room stool to the concrete school floor, still fitting, and was rushed to hospital. The number of senior school girls who one by one later confessed they had been seriously contemplating suicide until her episode, was unbelievable. In a weird way she got thanked for saving people's lives and making them count blessings.
I dont for a moment imagine your daughter needed this as a wake up call, but who knows how many young people her harshly gifted, new appreciation of life will touch? Maybe even someone in the crowd she was with.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006 7:50:00 PM
I don't think I can say anything wiser than Cheryl has. I think she's right, you must be very proud of her for stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility. Like mother, like daughter x.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006 10:19:00 PM
I know in my heart that YOU will say exactly what she needs to hear. Furthermore, a mothers hug is worth a thousand words.
Such a sad thing to read.
Sending thoughts & prayers.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006 10:31:00 PM
Oh ~ poor baby!
She really doesn't need to have gone though that at her tender age!
Tuesday, January 31, 2006 11:37:00 PM
What Cheryl said goes double from me.
When I was 17, my aunt slit her wrists. Her daughter (my cousin a year and a half younger than me) found her mother semi-conscious and blood all over.
Rather than call the ambulance, she called my dad. He wasn't home.
My cousin didn't want anyone to know about the shameful scene, and begged me to come be the one to drive them to the hospital.
I wrapped a bath towel around her arms, my cousin and my aunt in the back seat, me with only a 5 month old driver's license, racing against time and blood loss.
My aunt spent 4 months in a Pysche ward. But then she got a bit more education and found a job she loved as an LPN.
Your daughter is very brave and she did the right thing to call the police/professionals.
If I had to do it over again, I should have insisted on emergency vehicles. It would have made stoplights and intersections easier.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 3:01:00 AM
My heart goes out to your daughter. How awful for her. She did the right thing. My prayers are with your family.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 5:29:00 AM
Very sad.
And may never make sense.
She's got a good couple of shoulders to lean on, though.
Let us other parents know what seems to help.
And a hug for YOU. You must be aching to take away all of her fright, you wonderful mum.
I go to sleep very thankful tonight.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 6:09:00 AM
Thank you everyone for your support and thank you Cheryl for some excellent ideas. Good grief MrsDoF, you have certainly been through a lot!
I sat with daughter all evening watching TV and just small talking. Out of the blue she suddenly burst into tears and that was the first time she cried and I was able to hold her. I went to bed eventually but it seems she has stayed up all night, yet again, playing computer games. On the one hand that is good for the mind to be blotto-ed by games and on the other it does nothing for a regular routine and getting off to college today. At least she's smiled at me this morning.
Yesterday she did say that it puts things into perspective so I reckon that already some sense is coming out of it.
And yes, I am proud of her and told her so. She is shocked that cars drove past and just beeped their horn and carried on!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 7:07:00 AM
That is such a sad story.
Suicide is certainly painful. It's desperate and thoughtless. How does people get in to such states of despair?
They say most suicides are calls for help. Unfortunately the suicidals don't always realise this and end up killing themselves and hurting the people around them.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 9:09:00 AM
I'm sorry to hear that. Please tell her as the days go by it will hurt less and less. When I was 17 I witnessed a drowning, Time is a great healer. It is a shock when you come across someone who wants to end their life. Hugs to you all
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 11:02:00 AM
Oh Doris, your poor daughter. Like others, I think Cheryl has said it really well.
And like others, I saw someone die too once - in a road accident, right in front of me. Two young men in a car just ahead of me crossed onto the other side of a dual carriageway and had a head on collision with another car. I tried to see if I could help while the ambulances were coming, but they died right there. No-one ever found out why it had happened.
I was older - an adult - and though it was terribly affecting, the shock of it did actually bring the 'shutters' down on my emotions, numbing them while what I'd seen sank in. Sounds like your daughter has had some of this too.
Her youth will give her the strength to absorb, reflect on and deal with this. She did the right thing. Of course she did. And you're a lovely mum, so I'm sure you'll help in all the right ways.
One little thing - if he did die - there could well be a coroner's inquest and your daughter might be summoned to give evidence. The police will decide. Don't mention it to her...and it probably won't happen for some time...but keep it in the back of your mind?
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 11:22:00 AM
There's not much else i feel i can add except that my heart really goes out to your daughter. i had cold chills just reading it, i can't imagine what she must be going through. but time is a healer and i wish you all the best.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 3:39:00 PM
I feel sorry for your daughter that she had to see that. I tried to commit suicide once. I spent 4 terrible days in the ICU. I can say I understand those who take their own lives, but I also understand...it will get better and your life is precious. You want the pain to stop, not your life to stop. Your daughter is very lucky to have a mother like you!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 9:35:00 PM
Thank you again to everyone for your kind thoughts and sharing your own experiences. I had reckoned that the images will lessen over time but hearing from others who have gone through seeing other's death experiences is encouraging.
Of course this will also bring up thoughts or experiences of suicide. Thank goodness you survived Sassy and now realise that your life is precious and that there is hope out there. I had an incredible dream at 16 that put those particular dark thoughts out of my head forever.
Update My daughter went out last night to meet up with some friends, in order to try and get back into normal things, but I had to go bring her back less than an hour later. Seems her elder male friends are not so mature or understanding and tried to belittle it and to get her to pull herself together and not be so miserable. They assured her it wasn't a tragedy but if such and such a football team had lost 3-0 then that would be a tragedy! I couldn't help laughing at that but I think it was utterly callous of them.
She says she keeps getting flashbacks. I've contacted the police and will be speaking to them again tomorrow to see if I can find out the outcome for the chap and any counselling they suggest, if it is needed.
I am a bit scared that she isn't handling this at all and it will leave such a big impact.
Thursday, February 02, 2006 8:31:00 AM
Poor Girl. To have seen that happen i really hope she can put this behind her. My heart goes out to her.
Thursday, February 02, 2006 5:13:00 PM
poor kid......I know you'll take excellent care in helper her heal though.
Thursday, February 02, 2006 8:57:00 PM
Where have I been? So sorry I haven't kept up with your blogs for a while - where did the time go? what was I doing? It seems only yesterday but clearly a while back...
About what happened this night - one thing is true and that is we just don't know all the circumstances : the seeds for this moment were probably sown very early on in his life, perhaps (the research now suggests) even in his genes! So 'if only' and 'what if' would have to go back a long, long way.
And there's also a question : why are we programmed to prevent other people from doing what we don't want them to do...and why do we want them not to do it? Huge questions but it may lead to a perspective which lessens the sense of responsibility.
Or not. What a challenging situation for you all.
Hugs
Friday, February 03, 2006 12:30:00 AM