Thursday, 5 May 2011

The obvious

A person is laying there pretty much comatose, now no longer eating whilst drinking just a little. The diagnosis of the advanced spread of secondary bone disease has been given and yet I still ask if there is any chance of her rallying. Could her symptoms be down to just the medication suppressing her. I half expect her to get up from her bed angry there are all these nursing people in and out the house and start ordering for the place to be cleaned up. It is actually pretty good, my dad has done a good domestic job for the last few years, but old habits die hard. And as I write that saying I wonder if many habits may die now. Maybe I can let go of my negative self-imploding habits.

Today she is to be moved to a hospice "if she is well enough". Apparently it is a possibility that she is actually not well enough to be moved and could die on the way to the hospice on the next street. The ambulance people could refuse to move her! And then it will be just a matter of hours.

Can this be really happening?

The grandchildren have been to say their goodbyes. My daughter has decided to stay and be here. She has been amazing in so many ways considering what we are going through.

Words now seem a bit superficial.


Anji said...

I've been offline for a few days.

I'm sorry to read that you are going through all of this. It sounds very much like when my father died. They did move him and the ambulance men were very upset about it.

I can see that a lot of bad memories are coming back to you. I'm thinking of you and your family.


Doris said...

Thank you Anji. xxx