Sunday, 8 May 2011

A new era

Yesterday - Saturday - my mother died. Her body closed down bit by bit and when she finally went, after a false alarm over twelve hours before, it was peaceful. I was not with her when she went but had been with her the entire first night in the hospice and during the false alarm. My brave and wonderful daughter stayed with me throughout it all and has been a rock.

It is a curious and strange time. Adjusting. Reflecting. Thinking and coping. I feel stronger and maturer than ever before. I have had moments of complete tears crying for the wasted times and the good emotions that could have been. But I have not cried since she died and wonder about that. The song "All cried out" comes to mind.

The funeral is this Wednesday and I am looking at going on holiday as soon as possible afterwards with my darling Mr Doris. As a sort of physical recovery time and a curtain between my old life and the new life to come.

More words and reflections will be forthcoming in due course.

3 comments:

DianeMarie said...

I'm thankful that your mom is no longer suffering. My thoughts are with you & your family. Sending much love across the big pond.
Love,
Jane

Thursday said...

Thinking of you. I know, it's a dreadful time.

Anji said...

I don't think we ever behave quite how we think we would. I'm sorry to read your news.

I hope that you and Mr D have a special time together