This post re-published December 2012
This is one of those snapshots. We all have them. Moments in time saved
in our memory banks or in my case seem to be in boxes in the back of my
mind. Then something happens to trigger a memory, just a word or a
phrase and suddenly this memory pops up unexpectedly, like a well-worn
episode of a soap opera, it gets played again, thought about some more,
and then put away.
My brother is a year or two older than me and I
was about 11. He had problems with being dry at night throughout his
childhood. But this particular night was different. Living in Australia,
we lived in a caravan at that time. My brother and I were in bunk beds
down one end of the caravan with him at the top. In the morning I was
woken by a sense of wetness all around me. He had wet the bed so much it
went through the mattress and wooden slats and landed on me. It was
revolting and I was revolted but it wasn't me who did it and I was tired
of always cleaning up his mess. I daren't say anything to my mother as
she would flip and make me stay late and clean up and this was one
morning I wanted to get to school on time.
When we came home from
school all hell broke loose. I'm not sure if my mother hit us but it
would have been inevitable, and both my brother and I were told to go
away. Not sure where or for how long but I heard it as go away and don't
come back. So I didn't. I didn't want anything to do with my brother so
we went in different directions.
At some point during the
course of the afternoon I was running down a small hill road and was
knocked over by a bicycle coming from a side road. I was thrown up and
flipped onto the ground but was otherwise OK.
Night began to
fall and I was terrified of going home but I wasn't far from home. In
the end, I crept back and hid under the back of the caravan and laid
down. Curled up for the night. Hungry and alone and cold. (I could ham
this up into more of a tear jerker but I don't need to!) I could clearly
hear my brother come home and welcomed back in. The prodigal son who
could do no wrong and I could hear him charming my mother with his
stories and the sound of an abnormally happy home.
The police had
been called and I heard them coming and going but I couldn't come out
of my hiding place. It had gone too far and I was mentally stuck.
Combination of furious, sad, desperate, lonely, angry. I can still see
me as this little frightened kid in a ball in a scary place with the
wildlife of Australia to contend with in the dirt under the van.
Finally,
when darkness had completely descended, one of the police cars pulled
up nearby and their headlight reflected on my white shirt and I was
retrieved. It was a kindly police woman and she was really nice to me.
But being the 'good girl' I was, and having been taught well, I knew
better than to tell the police what had really happened so I was vague.
On questioning I felt it was safe to tell them about the accident on the
hill road earlier and so they put down my behaviour to concussion. As a
result, I was able to keep the lid on the situation and life continued
on as it ever did.
Very sad snapshot. My mother has never
acknowledged any of these situations and I've no desire to bring it up
with her. There is nothing to be achieved and instead she lives in a
rose-tinted world "bigging up" anything that could have been construed
as good. Perhaps the one time we baked a cake together becomes "I was
always cooking with you kids". I'm not sure if she wants me to explode
one day or to confront her, but deep down I know there is nothing to be
gained.
I have lots of lovely snapshots too, from my adult life,
and these are the ones I have on display in my heart, but it is
interesting to put some of these sad ones into writing. I'm still in a
lot of pain from my dental treatment the other day but this memory
popped up and I thought it might be a distraction from the pain but alas
not.
14 Comments:
Have you been to the doctor too, for help to at leats get a night's sleep, while you are sore?
Being conscious of it even in your sleep is so wearing.
Get well soon.
What a wonderful bouquet! It looks like it must be huge - what on earth will you use for a vase?
:-)
Hugs.
Antibiotics a MUST! I was told by a dentist once to take pain pills EXACTLY asprescribed ... EVEN if you think you can hold out an hour or three. Better to take them while the pain is less ... than to wait for the pain to get worse and THEN take them. The pills have a harder job to do if you wait. I tried it and it worked.
I've usually taken pain pills for up to a week after having teeth pulled ... but soon after that the pain is pretty much gone.
However, if you have an infection you do NOT want it getting into the bones! That can be terrible and very hard to get rid of.
So be a good girl and take your meds as directed!
HUGS
Milt Bogs Hmm. You can teach me to suck eggs anytime... but on second thoughts!
Cheryl I'm sleeping a whole better and so am grateful for that. I couldn't bear sitting in the doctors waiting room nor asking for such medication. That would be too new territory for me. It has been bad but at least it feels to be getting better and less painful now. The bouquet is ever-so lovely and happy. Some of the exotic flowers are kangaroo paw. Luckily I have a glass vase with a wide neck in which they look great.
Mama Mouse Sadly I've no earthenware crocks but I too can see them in something like that! I am taking my meds as directed and certainly can't start the day without painkillers! Good info about when to take the painkillers - I will bear that in mind.
Anji Thanks! Maybe it is my karma for years in the past when I had not looked after my teeth. They showed an episode of Simpsons yesterday - the one with the dentist. Lisa needed braces and so as a warning they showed a book of English smiles! Oh dear - we are not that bad! Chandira was saying pretty much the same though she's a Brit in the US so maybe that doesn't count!
I hope the pain stays at bay and your spirits high.
Huggers!