Saturday, 15 October 2011

The Waiting Game

The not knowing is very difficult and I am trying to hold tight and am keeping busy - once again the kitchen gets a good going over. So I sent off my carefully worded email which did not hold back on the strength of the situation. I received a quick reply that was conciliatory and a tad dismissive, wallpapering over the cracks in an attempt to move forward. I responded with some further moving forward thoughts and proposed actions whilst also clarifying a couple of details. Then this morning I was up since early putting together some bones of a business plan with a covering email with further moving forward proposals. That email I sent to both husband and wife. In reply from him was a curt appointment set for me with him on Monday morning. I no longer seem to have access to the server.

Least said, soonest mended so I am writing this here. I have already talked this over with valued and trusted people in my life but you know how it is, sometimes we feel the need to keep talking it through to make sense and I am finding it difficult to not think about it every moment. I do not want this job at all costs but there is no doubt this was an exciting project. Maybe it still is and maybe this is something to work through. It is the not knowing. And what a bitch of a thing to do to send such an email for someone to stew over for the weekend.


Anji said...

I hope you find a way through this. Keep some of your ideas up your sleeve. You don't want it to go wrong and loose out

Doris said...

Thanks Anji. I am doing great now, since I was given the chop for writing a business plan. His male ego took a hammering, poor love. I did not argue or respond any more than I needed to as I felt like it was all a game. She and him there and me. She didn't say a word and he played Mr Man behind a desk - my desk! I feel I carried myself with dignity throughout and driving away I smiled thinking how sweet they looked with him the preening he-man and she pleased with her man. Bless. Meanwhile I'm up and running already back with a few of my clients and planning ahead with marketing.

I didn't do this by myself - and couldn't have. It is a journey that has been shared though I had to face that difficult meeting on my own. It has been quite a turbulent year.