Frog Filosophy

Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off.

How many are left?

There are still five - because there's a difference between deciding and doing.

Five Frogs on a Log by Mark L Feldman and Michael F Spratt

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I did it, I took that jump and although it didn't work out, at least I tried and in the end I have ended up on a different lily pad. In the process I learned just how many wonderful people there are in my life and am even more thankful and grateful. Onto my next jump which involves re-launching and adding a bigger ticket service. Oh yes. Rock on.

The Waiting Game

The not knowing is very difficult and I am trying to hold tight and am keeping busy - once again the kitchen gets a good going over. So I sent off my carefully worded email which did not hold back on the strength of the situation. I received a quick reply that was conciliatory and a tad dismissive, wallpapering over the cracks in an attempt to move forward. I responded with some further moving forward thoughts and proposed actions whilst also clarifying a couple of details. Then this morning I was up since early putting together some bones of a business plan with a covering email with further moving forward proposals. That email I sent to both husband and wife. In reply from him was a curt appointment set for me with him on Monday morning. I no longer seem to have access to the server.

Least said, soonest mended so I am writing this here. I have already talked this over with valued and trusted people in my life but you know how it is, sometimes we feel the need to keep talking it through to make sense and I am finding it difficult to not think about it every moment. I do not want this job at all costs but there is no doubt this was an exciting project. Maybe it still is and maybe this is something to work through. It is the not knowing. And what a bitch of a thing to do to send such an email for someone to stew over for the weekend.

Splat

The dream job is rapidly looking like a rabid beast slathering menacingly at me as the only target in its sights. Or perhaps it is better to think of derailed analogies and we are skidding along off the rails knowing something is not right at all. And hey would you guess, I suddenly seem to have a psychotic woman in my life again. Oh joy.

Today I stopped the whole thing and got off. My boss has phoned and said she was wrong and I was right. She sent me a pacifying text, but this is not about who is right or wrong. There is something fundamentally wrong and for once in my life I know it is not due to my lack or to do with me not being good enough. It is also not her fault either. It is what it is and it needs looking at and either fixing, if only we knew which bits need fixing and then how to fix it, or calling the whole thing off. I'm still at the stage where I think it is worth trying to tackle it.

Having had my customary pre-sleep sleep on the sofa I am now awake in the early hours. It is quiet and still and I can sit and compose the right words in an email to her. There are some very interesting dynamics going on and I feel this project and I are somehow in the middle of some major stuff going on in her and her personal life. Others did warn me against getting involved in the job, almost for those unknown reasons. I'm trusting in the universe to help the words to flow now. Something in me feels sure and confident about that. However, the outcome is entirely in her court and we need a reality check as to where we all stand. For this project to be viable it needs to be big, otherwise it should be one of those self-start one-man-band projects that grows over time. Not something like this where another individual is being employed on a full time salary. I'm out of magic wands just now so the next few days will be interesting.

Oh yes, and did I actually mention for the record, that I opened the salon this week and did three trial  treatments? Highly successful treatments I might add, with the potential for retail sales and a confirmed second booking for which the client is wanting to pay? Odd that instead of this being a cause for celebration it has been completely undermined with her snapping at me that there will be no more free treatments after this week and that those I had arranged are all to be converted up to some serious retail sales. Bearing in mind that these are the usual test client situations one does in order to trial a new service. And that I had targeted people who would be excellent ambassadors for us. Cheaper and more effective than any Groupon promotion.

And did I also mention that the boss had turned round and told me today that she herself would be going on such and such a training and not me. I was gobsmacked and this pretty much shows something has gone majorly wrong that the person they have recruited with the skills and training and experience and who had been employed to be the lead therapist to develop, carry out and disseminate these new skills has suddenly been side-lined. It is not even about the training or me wanting to carry out this procedure. I am not insured to carry out the procedure if I have not been properly trained but she seems to think she wants to re-write what are already the lax laws of this country in the field of beauty therapy. No wonder she wastes so much time asking my opinion on this or that flim flam for the decoration in order to avoid the major details such as the training. Either I am going to make this work and and I am going to be empowered to do so, or I am gone.