Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Crossing the threshold

It's one thing us sitting here, each in front of our computers writing our blogs, getting to know other bloggers. From a mild interest to becoming almost absorbed with their lives. Sharing the joys of new babies to the tears of very difficult times. Like a support group where people share and we each get to reflect on our own circumstances. Sometimes drawing comfort that our situation is not so bad after all, sometimes learning real skills, and sometimes increasing our knowledge base.

Then somewhere along the line something happens and one arranges to meet up. That other blogger whose pictures adorn their blog suddenly becomes a larger than life person crossing your threshold. Someone who one has become fond of, with their words and photos, comes to life in a different way. Egotistically one could think of life revolving around us and our blog friends being relationships "we" have only created; perhaps even conjured and just mythical. Even though these are wonderful people and our words touch each other there is still the fear that perhaps we are just making it up. That this isn't real and not valid.

Added to that, we have the off-line fears generated by the media and non-netty types that it is a scary world out there with the internet full of axe wielding maniacs. So heaven forbid, the thought of physically meeting a person met online is an anathema. But as I have been happily married for nine years to the wonderful Mr Doris who I met online back in 1998, I really don't have such an issue.

The very interesting thing about having met this blogger now a couple of times is that the words and pictures are real. A real human being and all those sentiments expressed prior to meeting really are true to the heart. It wasn't just a figment of my imagination. They were not just empty words - on either side. That one can come across some amazing people in the blog world. With geographical distances being what they are, it isn't often possible to meet up with those that we have connected with, but I am reassured that, mainly, our words are not empty ones.



Steg said...


And love. That makes us Hippies now, right?

Xtabay said...

"With geographical distances being what they are, it isn't often possible to meet up with those that we have connected with, but I am reassured that, mainly, our words are not empty ones."

I just love this sentence!

Hi Doris :-)


Josephine said...

The net at its best honey. That wonderful capacity to bring together people whose worlds might be different but who find they share something important.

It's interesting how some might use the nature of the net to create anonymity and fantasy - and to be something they aren't, but for others the reverse is true. For them it's a place where you can be real.

Doris said...

Steg LOL That was a bit out of character for me!

Xtabay Good to see you round. And thanks :-)

Jo And the net as such a powerful tool that enables relationships which otherwise may not have been possible. As well as the different worlds you mention there are also those, like my Mr Doris say, who are perfectly able socially but just couldn't be who they are on a personal level without the prior help of email establishing and developing relationships. Maybe, through the keyboard, it gives that space without worrying about the small talk that clouds things.

And for Steg, again, Peace! :-)

Anji said...

I seem to have blogging friends from everywhere except here. I think it's a scary idea planning to meet up. Glad your meeting was okay.

it's good to see you back again.

Ally said...

It's strange, isn't it? My online friends (ie, friends I first met online) often know far more about me than my 'real life' ones; and I have far more interaction with a few of them than I have with 'real life' people.

I think that although the internet *does* lend itself to all those horrible axe-wielding terror stories one hears about, it also lends itself to facilitating very deep, very knowing friendships very quickly. I love it!

Josephine said...

I totally agree Ally. Yes, be sensible. But be open to love and connection and understanding too :-)

Some of the relationships that I have found via the net have become truly truly special. And people have helped me in ways that 'real life' people could never have - because I wasn't able to open myself up in 'real life' to them as I could to a select few online.

alan said...

I have met some wonderful people here, and would not fear meeting any of them the world over!

I am happy you stopped by, and thank you for your kind words!


concerned said...

Hello Doris. May we talk for a moment about Mike Hitchen since you have a close online friendship with him? Do you not get the impression that he is acting very strangely to the point that his friends should really be concerned about him? I am staying anonymous but you are braver than I. He is so self-obsessed now that he has become terribly cold, heartless and ruthless in situations where most people would not fail to feel at least a shred of humanity.

rashbre said...

Here is the one where the fabulous Mar from Barcelona and I (rashbre) managed to meet when I was over there on some business.

I must admit phoning Mar from my hotel did feel a bit strange, but we managed to grab a great meeting in central Barcelona, with a spot of lunch as well. It's worth a read from both mine and her perspectives!

Its here

rashbre said...

...er and peace....!

Doris said...

Hi Rashbre - thanks for sharing that! LOL I remember the first time I had to phone Mr Doris (before we met, obviously!) and I had boldly said I would (better to be pro-active than waiting!) and my heart was beating through my chest. But my intentions were clearly different to yours - or was it - I haven't read about your encounter yet ;-)

Doris said...

Hello Concerned

I wonder if you might be interested in reading my very long comment on Mike's blog: comment

I did not write that in response to you, but because of what I have read written on other blogs about not only Mike but us so-called "cronies". But having written it I thought it worth bringing to your attention.

Thank you for your concern!

Very best wishes.

concerned said...

Thank you Doris. I hope that helps. However, having read what he has written overnight himself, I am now even more concerned about his state of mind.

Anonymous said...

inside the mind of Mike hitchen

Doris said...

Yup. Thanks Anon.


Julie said...

Hi Doris
First time poster on you blog (but very probably not the last)I have made many friends on the net and I would be totally lost without my computer now. As Ally said, some of my online friends know more about me than my 'real life'friends. Words are quite often a whole lot easier to write than actually say!

Doris said...

Hi Julie - nice to meet you :-)

Words are often easier to write, that's for sure .... and to carefully construct what one wants to say before saying it. Trouble is, when the written word is misunderstood and can take longer to sort out than a chat!

I find I will reveal more quite quickly via written words. Interesting that!

Have you a blog Julie?

Thursday said...

Splendid post, I wholeheartedly agree. I've met two or three people from the blogosphere, all of whom have become friends and via one of them, met my partner. Funny old world.

Doris said...

Thank you Thursday - and I have just thoroughly enjoyed your blog and photography. http://thursdayschild.wordpress.com Yup - I'm jealous of your photography skills ;-)

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


Doris said...

To the Anons .... no, my post above was not referring to meeting with MH. I don't think he has been to the UK in recent years.