Thank you to everyone for your fascinating contributions and comments on my previous post "Baptism at Easter". I'm afraid I am too distracted to respond with any depth or intelligence as I am thinking about tomorrow and preparing all sorts of family history documents to take with me to give to my cousin. She leaves the country on Sunday and I shan't see her until either she comes again in a matter of years or I have saved the dosh to get us all to Australia.
It will be emotional saying goodbye so it will have to be an Au revoir.
Original Comments:
Friday, 21 April 2006
Monday, 17 April 2006
Baptism at Easter
A friend of mine was baptised yesterday, on Easter Sunday. It was a full body immersion in a pool under the stage at our local Baptist Church and I am glad I did not miss it.
My friend and I have sons who play together and that is how we met but other than that haven't had much time together lately. We had spoken a year or two before about Christianity and at that stage she wasn't Christian so I was curious to be there on her special day. I don't take these things lightly even though I am not a Christian as such, but I do admire any adult who makes a conscious decision to take on board a religion.
The words of the Baptism ceremony were interesting and the whole struck me as a device for any great psychological therapy that frees you from past pains or misdeeds and gives a psychological re-birth. A process that clears the past and gives you permission to move forward. Naturally, I can't wait until suitable time elapses and my friend and I chat again and I can find out how she feels and what impact the Baptism has had on her.
The Easter service continued and I felt a pang of wanting to join the kids as they filed out for activities elsewhere. It has been so long since I have been to such a Church service that I was concerned what us adults were going to be subject to but it was OK. Any of us not baptised were invited to consider it for ourselves and there was much talk about the family of the church. I'm afraid I can't help thinking of it as a club and it just depends which religious club manages to sign you up first.
This Service was all about Jesus which is not surprising considering it is Easter but that is what bothers me about many forms of Christianity, it is all about Jesus and the characters and less about the underlying message. I wonder if Jesus et al would have wanted to be idolised in this way and whether that is actually contrary to what he originally preached?
I spent most of the rest of Easter Sunday and night sleeping and reckon that I have slept for England. Or at least caught up on some sleep from the past week's travelling and meeting family. We managed to avoid all Easter egg purchases this year with not too much hassle from the kids. The kids get chocolate year round and the meaning of Easter is well and truly lost on the eggs. My daughter assured me she had mates who not only got eggs but presents too. Well, lucky them!
Original Comments:
- Joe said...
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Hi Doris...have emerged from jet lag hell...:-)
The Baptism thing is very powerful isn't it? And I'm sure that it symbolically contains all the themes you mention - very much a process of 'rebirth', as well as the religous/biblical meaning.
The community that the church offers is a very atractive thing, in our fragmented world. Personally, I went through a period of trying very very hard to be part of that world a few years ago after a sort 'epiphany'. I spent some months going to a Baptist church where I met some of the most enlightened, spiritual, thoughtful people I have ever met and bizarrely (and simultaneously), some of the most narrow minded and blinkered. I eventually left, pretty disenchanted...
I also did a course called 'Alpha' which is portrayed as a way to get to grips with some of the key issues of Christianity, which was ultimately ghastly - a bit like being drawn into a cult.
Though I'm not a Catholic, I learned the most from taking a course at Salisbury Cathedral with a man who had spent much of his life with Carmelite (I think) monks - a lay preacher of sorts. And reading work by the Jesuits.
On balance, for me...God yes. Religion no. - doris said...
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Welcome back Joe!
Interesting you mention the Carmelites.... the one Christian church I have ever felt a sense of something special is the Carmelite Church (Carmelite Nuns I believe) on Kensington Church Street in London. Every time I've walked in there I have felt a rush.
I never did the Alpha course but have been heavily persuaded by another "friend" in the past to do it but didn't.
In the 80s I was drawn into the Central London Church of Christ which was a most interesting experience. They tried so hard to convert me.... and I loved going for the singing!!!! But I kept arguing about this or that and even after they brought in the US heavies they still couldn't answer my questions and I still couldn't be persuaded. My position became untenable and I had to go.
As for the enlightened and the blinkered - I've met them too. That worries me so much that many are narrow-minded. It makes a mockery of religion, or reveals it for what it is. - MattyD said...
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I think if Jesus existed (which sadly he didn't as he's just the star of the world's #1 International best-selling novel, he'd be most disappointed with the way Easter is treated as some kind of big chocolate party.
Jesus Jumpers...please note, I'm not having a pop at you, I just don't believe the hype. - Joe said...
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Jesus jumpers?! Where can you buy them?!
- zandperl said...
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Reminds me of something I've read about Judaism. According to Jewish tradition, if you're a Gentile (not Jewish), you only have to live a good life according to the Ten Commandments and you get into Heaven. If you're actually Jewish, either born so or converted, you have to follow hundreds of additional rules and if you break any you go to Hell.
Being the "Chosen People" is *NOT* a good thing. :-P - MrsDoF said...
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I'm one who goes to church for the social atmosphere of some pretty good people and the singing is the absolute best. The sermons and altar calls I just pick and choose. There's no pressure for Bible-thumping, but someone recently asked me to take a turn helping in the Nursery.
You might like the novel _The Monk Downstairs_ by Tim Farrington. The guy leaves the monastery, but has some great insights into religion. A Lutheran friend mentioned it, then I passed it on to a Catholic. - ChelseaFCChick said...
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Another great post Doris.
Personally I don't have a religion. My husband is a Catholic 'on paper' and went to Catholic schools (although he doesn't go to church). I often ask my husband about his religous beliefs and so I found this post very interesting and pretty thought provoking!
As for Easter, well, in our house it is more of a spring celebration and a family tradition. We love our chocolate eggs but thats not what its about, its very much a family time for us.
Belated Happy Easter! - jane said...
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I like that you're open-minded about your friend's baptism & went for the experience. Sadly, I think the church is not at all representative of the teachings of Jesus. He brought such a different message than the ones we now hear preached from the pulpit.
- Comment deleted
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This post has been removed by the blog administrator.
- Annie said...
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I was baptised in the sea about three years ago. I was going to a Vineyard church (very 'modern') at the time. I was brought up Methodist and had been christened and to Sunday School until I was into my teens. Both my parents are very active Christians but go to different churches. At the moment I don't go to church, but that's more due to health reasons rather than lack of faith. I read my Bible and pray every day, but I consider my faith to be a private thing and not something I want to make a big issue of, well not online anyway.
- Cheryl said...
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Yay!
I got dunked too. Does that make me a Rich Tea?
My C of E Vicar said I was baptised already, but respected my need to do it, and even sent me a card. Then later when he christened my two eldest kids at ages 8 and 9 he gave up on just signing the cross on their heads and splattered them good & proper, bless him. - Anji said...
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"I wonder if Jesus et al would have wanted to be idolised in this way", good point . We didn't go overboard with the chocolate this year either, but I do miss the easter egg hunts
- Gerald Ford said...
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I spent some months going to a Baptist church where I met some of the most enlightened, spiritual, thoughtful people I have ever met and bizarrely (and simultaneously), some of the most narrow minded and blinkered.
Sounds like the folks at my Buddhist Temple. ;p We're big (200+ people), and you get the full spectrum.
Back when I experimented with Catholicism, I rather enjoyed the symbolism found there. My friend is a Catholic priest (Dominican), and my wife and I stayed at his priory in California once. It was a great experience, and really spiritual besides.
Still, for my wife and I, we didn't find the answers we were looking for, so we ended up in Shin Buddhism. My wife was raised that way (she's Japanese), but for me it was discovering something new.
Either way, experimentation with Catholicism was quite nice and worth every minute. ;P
P.S. The Buddha's Birthday happened to fall a week before Easter this year. Kind of a funny coincidence I think.
Friday, 14 April 2006
Enchanted Gardens
We were young together once, my cousin and I. Thirty-three years later we have spent the past week together meeting relatives neither of us have ever met or some I haven't seen since a child. We have held hands and played and laughed and cried. There have been difficult parts with truly horrible rellies but these have been far outweighed by the lovely ones. Most of all has been the incredible relationship and love my cousin and I share. There is too much to say in one go so I am not going to attempt it.
This past week or so has been like we are together again in an enchanted garden. Reminding me of my cousin's enchanted garden which her father - my beloved uncle - created for his family. A real and beautiful garden with nooks and crannies; waves of colour and the greenest grass. He created a wonderful childhood for his children and it is one I was priveleged to share for a brief while. In the garden us cousins would play, round hidden paths, up the cubby house or down the end of the garden to the creek and the bridge he made to go over it. It was the only house with a bridge in the neighbourhood and it was much appreciated by the local kids. We'd play in the trickling water amongst the pebbles. Uncle would give us helicoptor spins in the garden. His strong hands and arms, which carved the finest art and created the most beautiful gardens and built the strongest foundations, would hold us tight and we'd feel so safe and happy. In the hot summers he would helicoptor spin us through the sprinkler to screams of laughter and delight. It was an enchantment.
Then through the painfulness of his own memories he couldn't stay in this world anymore and I can't comprehend how his own children coped with losing the most wonderful father ever. And I feel a bit guilty for only ever thinking of my own loss and not theirs. However, we were all young children and that is how it was and death grabs you like that.
My lovely cousin might be writing her own blog in due course. I don't know but I hope so though she is away travelling for another couple of weeks. Maybe she might write down her own stories. And if it wasn't for her having no hesitation and every confidence in me then we wouldn't have met up so soon. She and my Aunt have travelled across the world and the hemispheres to be here. We've done it now and can now move forward to even better things together.
Whilst I was away on my travels and completely unbeknown to me my darling Mr Doris was creating our own enchanted garden in our back yard. He doesn't even know the significance of it all! He planned it before my departure and had it in place within four days. Astro turf on the concrete with fancy brick edgings; a mandala of stones with a sunburst design; white gravel; yard art fixed to the wooden part of the fence and painting of various features. He transformed a dull grey concrete yard (admittedly overhung with glorious trees from the park next door) into a wonderland of colour. Like a mini-golf fest. My cousin and Aunty and I saw it mid way through our travels and were bowled over. Me: I just love my Mr Doris for coping with me and everything over the last few months and for the things he does.
I'm exhausted and so I reckon I am not quite back yet. So many emails to catch up on and I need to find my feet again after this incredible whirlwind. Goodness knows how my cousin will manage as her journeys continue to see relative on her mother's side.
Lucky us that we get to meet up one more time, next Saturday, before she leaves the UK. I'm sure that is when the tears will flow and we'll have to be very brave.
Original Comments:
This past week or so has been like we are together again in an enchanted garden. Reminding me of my cousin's enchanted garden which her father - my beloved uncle - created for his family. A real and beautiful garden with nooks and crannies; waves of colour and the greenest grass. He created a wonderful childhood for his children and it is one I was priveleged to share for a brief while. In the garden us cousins would play, round hidden paths, up the cubby house or down the end of the garden to the creek and the bridge he made to go over it. It was the only house with a bridge in the neighbourhood and it was much appreciated by the local kids. We'd play in the trickling water amongst the pebbles. Uncle would give us helicoptor spins in the garden. His strong hands and arms, which carved the finest art and created the most beautiful gardens and built the strongest foundations, would hold us tight and we'd feel so safe and happy. In the hot summers he would helicoptor spin us through the sprinkler to screams of laughter and delight. It was an enchantment.
Then through the painfulness of his own memories he couldn't stay in this world anymore and I can't comprehend how his own children coped with losing the most wonderful father ever. And I feel a bit guilty for only ever thinking of my own loss and not theirs. However, we were all young children and that is how it was and death grabs you like that.
My lovely cousin might be writing her own blog in due course. I don't know but I hope so though she is away travelling for another couple of weeks. Maybe she might write down her own stories. And if it wasn't for her having no hesitation and every confidence in me then we wouldn't have met up so soon. She and my Aunt have travelled across the world and the hemispheres to be here. We've done it now and can now move forward to even better things together.
Whilst I was away on my travels and completely unbeknown to me my darling Mr Doris was creating our own enchanted garden in our back yard. He doesn't even know the significance of it all! He planned it before my departure and had it in place within four days. Astro turf on the concrete with fancy brick edgings; a mandala of stones with a sunburst design; white gravel; yard art fixed to the wooden part of the fence and painting of various features. He transformed a dull grey concrete yard (admittedly overhung with glorious trees from the park next door) into a wonderland of colour. Like a mini-golf fest. My cousin and Aunty and I saw it mid way through our travels and were bowled over. Me: I just love my Mr Doris for coping with me and everything over the last few months and for the things he does.
I'm exhausted and so I reckon I am not quite back yet. So many emails to catch up on and I need to find my feet again after this incredible whirlwind. Goodness knows how my cousin will manage as her journeys continue to see relative on her mother's side.
Lucky us that we get to meet up one more time, next Saturday, before she leaves the UK. I'm sure that is when the tears will flow and we'll have to be very brave.
Original Comments:
- Stegbeetle said...
- You move me, Doris. I'm so pleased for you that it all worked out well on the whole.
Bless you, lady, and your little patch of enchantment too!
- Ally said...
- Yes, I am so happy for you. And you are so eloquent in the way that you share it. Have a happy week.
- Milly S said...
- :)
I'm not hre - I forgot my password, but had to say just that:
:)
- Astryngia said...
- A great sense of closure, doris. Gardens seem to be a theme in the blogs i'm reading just now and there's so much meaning in them. What a wonderful Mr Doris to create something so special and to know, intuitively, just what was needed.
- Le laquet said...
- SOunds wonderful, so glad that you got to spend precious time remembering together and good on Mr Doris for being so thoughtful too! Have a good Easter weekend
- doris said...
- Thanks all for your kind words wrapping me in hugs and making me feel comfortable to share these special times :-)
- jane said...
- That was such a touching post, Doris. Isn't life interesting in that just as you're reflecting on the enchanted garden, Mr. Doris creates one for you? I'm so glad you & your cousin got to hold hands again, it's the simple things that matter the most.
Monday, 3 April 2006
A new chapter
In January of this year a door opened in my life. A door to the past that revolves around to I don't know where. Maybe back to where I am but I suspect I will come out someplace different. And since January I've been in this revolving door. Not trapped but on a journey of discovery that has bounced me and pushed me and shoved me onwards.It's about my childhood. About the characters in my life. Who I am and how I operate. It's been exhilarating and mind blowing and yet I don't think I've changed that much but somewhere in me there is an essence that has been enriched.
Tomorrow begins a new chapter. Tomorrow I will be meeting family I have not known or seen since childhood. Somehow they seem to matter a lot to me and incredibly they have found the wherewithall to travel around the world to meet me and our family. I almost cry at the thought of how wonderful they are to have done this. For twenty five years my cousin has tried to find me and then gave it up as a lost cause about six years ago - just when I started looking for her family. This January one of her family found one of my messages on a genealogy board. That's when the door opened.
I may be gone a while!
Original Comments:
- Britmum said...
- Doris good luck to you. I am so happy for you and you deserve the best.
Take care
Catherine
- Stegbeetle said...
- Hope all goes well for you Doris!
- ChelseaFCChick said...
- Good luck, as stegbeetle said I hope it all goes well for you!
- Ally said...
- Good luck Doris, I hope it all goes well.
- Cheryl said...
- HUGE HUGS!!!!!!
- doris said...
- Thank you all (((Hugs)))
Day 1 Wow! Wow! Wow!
Driving there the sun was shining and the cherry blossom had blossomed. Tears pricked my eyes in anticipation. And then it was everything and more. A very long day and quite emotional in places. Only Day 1 and not a wasted moment :-)
- doris said...
- Day 2 The never-ending wonderful day.
Family history chats; saunter into town; relaxing in a bar; chatting whilst cooking dinner; after dinner games with Mr Doris and the kids all hooting with laughter; bed at midnight. Bliss.
- Cheryl said...
- Came back to ask how it was going - I see the answers are here already!
Wonderful!
- Stegbeetle said...
- EXCELLENT!
- Pookie65 said...
- Wishing you a beautiful reunion! Can't wait to hear all about it.
Huggers!
Pookie
- doris said...
- Thank you again. Thank you for caring :-)
Day 3 Emotions and depth.
Sightseeing and gadding about as a backdrop to the real business of chatting. Being together and sharing the tears of my cousin for her lost father and the words and memories so long unspoken. Acknowledging that we have so much in common as people and in what we like and how we are. Tomorrow we become a crowd as Aunty joins us. I reckon that'd be OK. Different but OK.
I just found out that my brother is to have an op to remove an unknown facial tumour. There is a small chance it is cancerous but it is a case of get it out and question it afterwards. I've been through the cancer scare thing with my brother before. I shan't start panicking this time.
Looks like the engine is in third gear and revving up. Seat belts are firmly on.
- jane said...
- I was here yesterday & tried to comment, but Blogger was screwy. I'm a firm believer that new doors open for reasons & this is a good example of that theory. I'm so jazzed for you that your cousin wanted to find you as much as you did she. Like Britmum says, you do deserve the best.
I just read your updates in comments & am glad things are going so well.
- ella m. said...
- Good luck (though it sounds like it will go excellently)!
I'll look forward to some joyous news upon your return. :D
- hellonheels said...
- Good Luck I am wishing you the best and much happiness!
- doris said...
- Day 4 And then Aunty came too.
Sightseeing and getting to know Aunty. All very nice indeed.
Today we set off and start with the challenging family - but I'm sure it will be brilliant.
- marina said...
- Be safe and all the best :)
- Astryngia said...
- Thinking of you. I love that way the baton was passed from cousin to you in order to finally bring the family together again. A field of energy at work which is greater than the sum of its parts. Magnificent.
- Britmum said...
- So glad that it is all being wonderful for you.
Take care
Catherine
- Astryngia said...
- I hope it is all continuing to be wunnerful - no heartache, well - only the good kind.
- Curly K said...
- Doris, delighted to hear things are going well. Enjoy the new found family and joys.
Will keep your brother and your family in my thoughts till the good news arrives. Been through scary times with my brother too, so know what it's like.
Sorry I haven't been logging on for a while; got a useless gallbladder our and now desperately trying to catch up with my fav six or seven blogs.
Saturday, 1 April 2006
Mitre-ly fab
Just another one of those days when one does a bit of this and a bit of that. This afternoon I finally put up the border tiles in our kitchen. They are this shape but in a terracotta orange to match the reds and oranges of the multi-coloured tiles. I had hesitated to do them as they required a mitred edge on two corners and I feared not getting it right. Especially when I have a job lot of tiles at a bargain price but with just two extra tiles to allow for breakages. Which meant not much room for error.With family descending upon us from Monday I just had to get on and to my delight I've pulled it off. I've yet to grout it all but the mitres look amazing. Professional even. It is surprising what we can do when we put our minds to it.
Original Comments:
- Cheryl said...
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:-)
Good for you! - Astryngia said...
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Comes as no surprise - you have a real talent for this DIY lark. :-) Have a wonderful week with wonderful visitors. I hope they all behave!! ;-)
- Britmum said...
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Wow!! You are my hero Doris. I could never do it. I am afraid I am too much of a girl, plus Scrag End thinks he is all that when it comes to DIY so I let him do it. LOL. If you ever need a holiday in Phoenix? (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) I have some tiling that needs doing in the kitchen.
Take care
Catherine - Le laquet said...
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Well done! Mind you it's the grouting I hate most!
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Ooooooooo!
Good luck tomorrow - what a bittersweet day you have ahead.
Huge hugs and support
xxxx
Friday, April 21, 2006 11:59:00 PM
Indeed, hugs and support. Thinking of you, Doris.
Saturday, April 22, 2006 10:14:00 AM
Good luck and a big *hug* ...
Saturday, April 22, 2006 11:04:00 AM
Good luck tomorrow hon.
I'm sure you'll see her again Doris. (I know it doesn't make it less tearful etc but I have found that the net has made an immense difference in keeping up with friends/relatives etc who live in Aus/NZ, so I hope you can)
Enormous hugs x
Saturday, April 22, 2006 2:45:00 PM
Thinking of you all today!
Saturday, April 22, 2006 4:37:00 PM
Lots of hugs to you Doris xoxo
Saturday, April 22, 2006 7:41:00 PM
Saying goodbye is always the hardest part. Hope it goes/went well. Here's another hug coming your way!
Saturday, April 22, 2006 9:06:00 PM
Indeed, best of luck, Doris. :D
Sunday, April 23, 2006 2:14:00 AM
I hate saying goodbye, too. Unfortunately it happens a lot here. People don't stay forever.
Like Joe says, though, email has made things quite a bit easier. It doesn't replace the real thing, but still, you're in touch in a way that didn't used to be possible.
Sunday, April 23, 2006 1:13:00 PM
Just read your post regarding the baptism and it really made me stop and think about the significance of it. Once again you offered up something to stimulate my worn out brain :-)
Enjoy the time with your friend, sweetie.
Hugs!
Sunday, April 23, 2006 2:26:00 PM
Thank you so much - everyone. So lovely. I will write a follow-up post :-)
Sunday, April 23, 2006 8:12:00 PM