Saturday 30 June 2018

Blogging, Life and the Universe

Once upon a time we were wedded to our blogs. Followed others with great passion from the safety of anonymous keyboards though with a genuine sense of care and affection. Then we move on and what happens to those bloggers, what happened to me?

At least two of those bloggers have passed on, one I knew in real life. My children are adults and live independently. Mr Doris and I celebrate 20 years with a renewed vigour that has taken some determination and effort. Friendships have evolved and careers have taken extraordinary changes. My father has a mixed dementia and after a year of intensive support we admitted him to a care home for his safety. Sometimes he is completely with it and shouldn't be in a care home and sometimes he is on another planet. He found a new woman to love, she too has dementia. He has never smiled and laughed as much as he did this past year, but they are now in different care homes because society can not cope as they may want to sleep in the same bed and cuddle.

Emotionally I am in the best place I have ever been. I now work for myself, in my own treatment room at home doing things the way I want. I've expanded my offerings and with ease go from doing a beauty treatment to sessions of therapy using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or tapping. A variation of tapping: Matrix Reimprinting, has been really significant to me rewriting traumatic events from my childhood so that I am able to move on and feel as if I had the nourishment I should have had back then. Writing this blog was cathartic in its day and helped along with the other learnings along the way of life, but it has been the tapping which has been significant. Now I get to work with others and help them too with this incredible therapy.

In the past years Mr Doris and I have travelled, with significant travels and lots of little travels this year. In the past year Mr Doris has studied and changed career. With just a few years off 60 I'll go with him to his graduation in a few weeks. I thought I did well to change career in my late 40s but it seems we are never too old to learn new tricks.

The sun has been shining in the UK for a sustained period of time. How lovely it has been to not have to wear many clothes!

And then there is Facebook. I got into it late, embraced it and now have a problem with it. The less I do social media the happier I am. I clearly still have issues to work with and whilst I appreciate being able to know friends and family are alive and well, there is a point where I value my privacy and don't wish X who I met once upon a time to know what I commented on such and such post. Then we either get the "everything is fabulous, I am fabulous" posts or the "woe is me, you don't understand" posts. That is unfair of me I know, because there are really good bits and snippets and information and I love seeing baby pictures. So I relate this back to the blogging years and how Facebook feels in comparison. Blogging was more sedate and, for me, could be done almost anonymously. I liked that, a safe place to consider, ponder and share.

PS. Oh yes, and thirteen years to the month since I first blogged. I was late to blogging too!

Sunday 9 February 2014

Only two weeks

It is hard to believe it is only two weeks or so since I posted here as so much seems to have happened. It is just me morphing again like some creature from the beyond, or something in a boggy mire. Nothing specific as yet, just punching boundaries from within. Pushing outwards and shaking foundations. Positive vibrations though all a little unclear. A little fragile desperately hoping that none of this comes to nought combined with an inner strength that knows all is going to be good.

Monday 20 January 2014

New day, new week

x                  x
New  day,     new  week.
Every moment is a chance to start afresh.

Every moment is a chance to discover something new.

Every moment is a chance to count one's blessings.

Every moment is a chance to smile and love. 

That moment is here and now.


Sunday 19 January 2014

Off days

We all have off days. Some to more of an extent than others. I have had the jolly fun of being off from the eve of my birthday then ok again then off again during my birthday and so forth for the days since. My shoulder is causing me pain on and off which I know is bound to be demoralising. I just feel crud and miserable but I am good at putting on a happy face when I have to. Reminds me of the small box of photos that happened to be to hand and came out on my birthday and was examined by young family members. I am pleased they were interested enough in some of these old pictures, and laughed loudly at some of the pictures of themselves when they were much younger, or at younger parents with big fluffy hair. My niece noted some pictures of me as a very young child, "you always look happy Auntie". And so I did. I've always known to put on a happy face. And sometimes I am happy. I gotta finish on an upbeat thought!

Friday 10 January 2014

The Railway Man

What a way to kick off my commitment to visit the cinema once a month this year with my delightful Mr Doris by going to an afternoon showing of a film on the very day of its release in the UK! I am not sure I have ever seen a film on its first day and am doubly delighted to find that by going to the afternoon showing it cost £6 per person rather than the £9 price tag of a cinema seat.

We have never been to this particular cinema which is an independent not too far away, with a very pleasant cafe although the coffee was a bit acrid. I had a bit of a sniffly nose that needed relieving (this is going to be relevant) and my darling went over to the stand and fetched me more than a few soft black napkins. I only needed one, then I used two more to dry my hands in the bathroom leaving me one that became very vital.

The screen size was more than decent as some cinemas have screens that feel like a slightly larger TV screen! We had a great view with no heads in front to interrupt our viewing pleasure.

The word "pleasure" is not one to associate with The Railway Man inasmuch as the storyline is based on a true story and deals with the really difficult subject of war and torture; its aftermath and latterly revenge, apologies and conciliation. I find gratuitous violence appalling and have walked away from a movie in the past rather than watch it but in this case the violence was relevant. It was brutal and I cried a lot during this movie. Interestingly I felt it was OK and not in the least bit sissy to be affected because this was about real events and viewers are meant to be affected.

In watching the film the only thing that really bugged me was how the central characters Eric Lomax played by Colin Firth, and the torturer Takashi Nagase looked only in their forties in the early 1980s when in my mind they would have been about 20 in 1942 and therefore should be at least in their 60s. Apart from that I wondered, like any film based on a real life story, how it was romanticised and in watching it I wondered what was true and what wasn't. Afterwards a bit of a read online reveals that Eric himself left his first wife and family out of his own autobiography! There is a very interesting article in the Guardian "The Railway Man's forgotten family: 'We were victims of torture too'" which brings me to the subject of the after effects of war not just directly on those involved but on descendants long after the event. This is not to compare or negate those war time experiences but equally the effects on descendants should not be dismissed either. I wrote a little on Remembrance which then links to another item I also wrote.

Our family lived in Singapore in 1966 which was just 24 years after the Japanese took over. I had never realised that nor the significance of Changi. I have just looked up our address and it was less than 25 minutes drive from Changi prison, but then again Singapore is a small island and everywhere is only a short distance. The war events in the film mainly take place in Thailand. Which leads me to another point in the film - the locations. The film starts off in the North West of England on trains of the early 1980s. I remember those old slam door carriages which all looked about right but I am not sure that they actually used Crewe Station as I have known that station for at least 20 years. As the train travelled along I am also not sure I felt that was actually England being shown or at least it was a not very good painting of a backdrop. There were scenes in Thailand with the mountains in the background and they too did not look real. I hate to be nit picky but some things are simple to get right.

Coming back to the film there is a point near the end when there is an apology. My tears flowed for the storyline and also for myself. For those events in my life where I have had an apology and been able to move on and those events where an apology never happened and can now never be. It just goes to show how far acknowledgement and apology can go in this world. A lesson we should all hold close.

Thank goodness for the extra long and sedate credits which enabled more than a few of us to compose ourselves and look a little less distressed. I am not sure what the next lot of cinema goers thought of us filing out all sombre.

I am glad I saw this film although it was incredibly upsetting.