There have been times in my life when I have been completely swotted. Like a fly. Annihilated and then through the tears and the misery bit by bit rebuilt. I'd like to say that each time getting stronger, and I suppose I have, but have never particularly felt it.
Perhaps I have not had such wipe-outs since knowing my beloved Mr Doris but in the last couple of years I have had an oppressive thumb squidging me down as if how dare I even put my head up over the parapet. I don't know if it is all of my own making, shooting myself in the foot, but I like to think that I had at least progressed over the last ten years and was entitled to some happiness and success. So I was reassured when I found out last year I had some severe planetary movements and that maybe it wasn't my fault after all.
Somehow throughout it all I have kept going. I never got round to blogging about all the mishaps in the early part of last year. The time never seemed right and now it is just incredible to consider despite all that, so much has been achieved in whatever small ways. I was told that these severe planetary influences would clear by this Spring and would also herald some much needed money coming into the house. Being self-employed money is pretty vital stuff. I don't imagine we'll suddenly have monetary wealth though I wouldn't ever discount or dissuade it from showering largesse upon us, but I think it is about time we had more money coming in to provide a cushion.
The real changes though have happened this year and I have only blogged a little about them. One day you are minding your business and then out of the blue something happens that can change your entire life. The amazing thing is that you don't have to have a travesty or to lose your home or be caught up in some devastation. In a way I can't blog about it because I am living it and until I see where the cards fall I don't want to spoil it or pre-empt anything. Words can not do any of it justice as it is such an amazing story. The stuff of movies or best-selling novels!
It is mind-blowing and absorbing and completely rattling my foundations. The curious thing is that this particular experience is not just mine but involves at least a handful of other people who are equally affected and quite a few more who must also be affected but maybe not in the same way. We are affected by different aspects but at the heart of it is a love and a bonding that is so positive.
A big difference for me during this time of upheaval is that I can feel myself getting stronger inside. Of course I always have been strong or had a strength but only to a point. I have a survivors instinct but inside was often a flat battery that magically kept going. Now, I feel like something has intrinsically changed in me. Gone up a gear. Really positive stuff. I'm still me and still do what I do but something is better.
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I hope you are going to write that best-selling novel when this is all over! (Is anything ever really over?)
And I hope the cards fall the right way, and that the money worries become a thing of the past.
"...out of the blue something happens that can change your entire life..."
I've had that happen three times (big shattering things, that I had no control over), and every time it was horribly upsetting at first. Just having your life turned upside-down is hard enough, but also, how come the things are never GOOD things? In the long run, however, every time has been life-changing, and every time it has been for the BETTER.
I hope it is the same for you. Your post is vague, but it sounds like it.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006 4:37:00 AM
Oh Shit.
No, I'm serious - I mean; if this indomitable, wonderful, humorous friend is you in timorous mode, what on EARTH will be unleashed on this planet if you go getting something like strength and confidence?
Have you actually asked Xena The Warrior Princess if she's OK with being outshone and retiring to a little island somewhere?
Tut tut.
(Hehehehe - you go, girl!)
Tuesday, February 28, 2006 7:15:00 AM
No movements here unfortunately, planetary or otherwise.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006 10:47:00 AM
Badaunt So you understand! But this time, they are good things and I have never known good things to bring up so much change and healing.
Cheryl LOL I love Xena Warrior Princess or was it that I loved the way her boobs hung and her groovy leather outfits and the way she sashayed around saving the world :-) Joking aside, I reckon that finally I can feel the talk that I probably already walk all the way through me instead of as a shell I project. So I don't reckon I'll change much to the world... but then again... mwhuaaaaaaaa :-D
Milt What about Ex-lax? But you knew that comment was coming! Once again, joking aside, I reckon that a lot of people are going through a lot of transitions. It is not just me. Maybe you are already perfect Milt and have no need for change?
Tuesday, February 28, 2006 10:50:00 AM
Doris, can't wait to hear the full story, in your own sweet time. Those sorts of things have happened to us all, both good and bad and like Badaunt says I've always found that in retrospect they happened for a reason (usually the better).
I'm a big believer of a saying we have here in Ireland "whats meant for you, never goes by you".
You keep going girl, take your time and find your feet with all the changes and let it all sink in. It'll all be good in the end.
BTW: Us sagittarians have had a lot of planetary changes in our planetary aspects too - although I'm still waiting for the planet that rules "becoming slightly thinner, more healthy, a better housekeeper and a getting a partner" to kick into gear. Will let you know if it happens!
Cheryl: Wonder woman kicks Zena ass! (I was once told I looked like Zena - I put it down to the big piece of Newbridge Silver jewellery I was wearing at the time and not the fact that I've got an ass that would look good in her outfit!)
Tuesday, February 28, 2006 2:27:00 PM
Ooh - I can just SEE you as Xena, Warrior Princess - it's YOU to a T!!! :-)
Sure there's transition but then there's volcanic eruption and earthquake - like there was a chink in the armour where hydrogen met oxygen and the world went kerboom! Then that lit a trail of lesser explosions, one after the other, lesser but each magnifying the power of the next.
That's what my experience feels like anyway - and yours sounds very similar.
Onwards and upwards, stout fellow. :-)
Tuesday, February 28, 2006 5:33:00 PM
Awww, Doris, you are such a strong and amazing woman. I can only picture you facing diversity with a smile and determination. Your spirit is so good that eventually you'll overcome the nasty things life throws you and be a better person for it.
If we all could have your drive and ability to keep on going....Your kind words always give me the extra boost that I need. I pray all those who know you have the same feeling. I'm a better person for knowing you, dear.
You are officially now my Moon Cup Hero!
(((((((((hugs & kisses))))))))))
Wednesday, March 01, 2006 12:41:00 PM
wooohooo Gran! I can't wait to find out what is going on in your life. : )))) I wish you much happiness, wealth and peace.
Thursday, March 02, 2006 6:18:00 PM
Well I hope that positive momentum snowballs into things that will be all the happiness you deserve :D
Thursday, March 02, 2006 6:33:00 PM
Love the way you describe a positive event as a battery charge. I would love for a big battery charge event to happen in my life, but meanwhile I will get through on the little charges; my sons' laughter, a hug, a smile and a box of chocolate.
Friday, March 03, 2006 6:27:00 PM
Transitions are definitely in the works here. Thanks for the boost of courage & positivity!
Sunday, March 05, 2006 6:40:00 PM
I am agog Doris (and that's not a pretty sight!) What could this news be?!
Clearly, you have (a) Won the Loterry or (b) Discovered you are actually fourth in line to the Throne or c) Been selected to crew the International Space Station in 2008.
The Planets. What a shower they are. I had my chart done last year (I'm Cancerian - theregain you probably guessed that!), and yes there was all that turmoil there too (thanks Pluto!) 'Best' thing was that one particular 'thing' had been going on for 30 years according to the chart. 30 years! Though it's due to finish this year or next year.
Can't wait ;-)
Monday, March 06, 2006 11:07:00 AM