Doris Mash

Nest Abandoning

2012-01-28T08:33:00.005Z

Busy, busy, washing, cleaning. Nyaaar, nyaaar! Abandon the nest. Busy, busy, sorting, throwing. Nyaaar, nyaaar! Abandon the nest. Busy, busy, ironing, packing. Nyaaar, nyaaar! Abandon the nest. ~~~ Last child at home is 18 in a few short weeks. Since he finished his chef apprenticeship at the end of last year he's been planning to get a job down south about this time and until this time was

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T10:20:00.000Z

Roll on 2012! It's going to be a hot summer in the UK! The London Olympics will be fabulous with the UK winning its most ever medals and the country will not end up bankrupt as a result! The Queen will have her Diamond Jubilee and there will be a lot of partying and having fun amongst the peasants! There will be a cultural resurgence of some sort, through art or dance or music, and fashion

Sore throat

2011-12-04T08:29:00.000Z

After the last post about mental illness it feels like a very long time since I had a physical illness and here I am feeling very sore and poorly with a sore throat. It came on suddenly on Friday night after I had a very long evening doing a party-plan type party at someone's house and suspect that I caught something from one of the models. The product I was demonstrating was skin care so I was

Sudden Suicide

2011-11-28T08:44:00.000Z

Assuming it was suicide..... assuming it was depression .... When a (now) high profile person commits suicide it will make society look up and consider depression and suicide and I'm hoping that out of the death of Gary Speed (football manager for Wales) that there is greater discussion and acknowledgement of mental health issues. I think when you have someone who can be seen talking live on

Remembrance

2011-11-11T07:11:00.000Z

Thinking about myself and my own family, this year is a poignant Remembrance Day. I feel our lives are bound up in the atrocities of World War I and the psychological aftermath on my grandfather which I wrote about in 2006. And then the effects on my mother which she in turn inflicted upon us and which I in turn have tried very hard not to inflict upon my children. Of my siblings, one is

Licking wounds?

2011-11-01T06:57:00.000Z

Nah, not me, not this time. Yesterday was two weeks almost to the minute since I was ingloriously sacked that the postie arrived with a box of gorgeous printed postcards promoting my re-launched business. Within half an hour I was out on the streets popping them through letter boxes. A few hours later and with the help of the darling Mr Doris and my sis about 400 have been delivered. Another 600

Frog Filosophy

2011-10-22T11:58:00.000+01:00

Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off.How many are left?There are still five - because there's a difference between deciding and doing. Five Frogs on a Log by Mark L Feldman and Michael F Spratt ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I did it, I took that jump and although it didn't work out, at least I tried and in the end I have ended up on a different lily pad. In the process I learned just

The Waiting Game

2011-10-15T15:57:00.000+01:00

The not knowing is very difficult and I am trying to hold tight and am keeping busy - once again the kitchen gets a good going over. So I sent off my carefully worded email which did not hold back on the strength of the situation. I received a quick reply that was conciliatory and a tad dismissive, wallpapering over the cracks in an attempt to move forward. I responded with some further moving

Splat

2011-10-14T02:45:00.000+01:00

The dream job is rapidly looking like a rabid beast slathering menacingly at me as the only target in its sights. Or perhaps it is better to think of derailed analogies and we are skidding along off the rails knowing something is not right at all. And hey would you guess, I suddenly seem to have a psychotic woman in my life again. Oh joy. Today I stopped the whole thing and got off. My boss has

Month One

2011-09-28T06:50:00.000+01:00

Coming to the end of month one of my fabulous new job. It would safe to say I am so tired but thanks to the wonderful Mr Doris who cossets me and pads out all the edges of my life I don't have to worry about running a home or making meals and all those sort of things. If I had to I would probably be crashing into the ground with exhaustion. Today I have the third day of an intensive three day

Saturday

2011-09-24T06:00:00.001+01:00

Six am Silent Singular Satisfactory

Gobsmacking

2011-09-12T00:38:00.000+01:00

Since my mother died in May my life is beginning to read like a fantasy. Unbelievable and fantastical. In my last post I wrote about "the" amazing new job and my upcoming journey to Thailand. So I started my new job and then jetted off to Thailand with my dear friend and saw her through another painful and difficult set of operations that were ultimately very successful. It was a privilege to be

New beginnings

2011-07-17T10:24:00.001+01:00

That last post, written on that Saturday, reflected where I was at on my career front. It was upbeat and hopeful and positive. Within 24 hours of writing it - yes, on the Sunday - I received an email out of the blue offering me a part time job with benefits. The benefits were the training being offered and this training was what I was hoping to do after I completed another year at college.

That lovely feeling of confidence

2011-06-18T11:36:00.000+01:00

This time in two weeks I will have completed my one year beauty course. I did it. Put in the time and the energy and on the verge of completing, even though I shall be up to the line with the required assessments. It has been a mostly fabulous experience: nearly fifty years old and going back into a college environment with all the students and most of the tutors much younger. We have been a

Counselling Treasures

2011-06-03T08:35:00.000+01:00

These are from yesterday's session and if I don't write them down I may be scratching my head trying to remember them and at this stage I think they are well worth remembering or giving a try. And in no particular order: Time in itself is not the healer and you do need time. It is barely three weeks since the funeral and I seem to be expecting everything to be fixed and Rome to have been built,

Middle of the night

2011-06-02T02:57:00.000+01:00

It is nearly four weeks later and I am not sure what I was thinking before but things sure are not whatever I thought they might be. I thought the holiday would create a brilliant curtain through which I walk from my old life into this brave new world. That all that was wrong would suddenly be right but hey, that has not exactly happened. The holiday was great, and just what the doctor ordered

A new era

2011-05-08T23:23:00.000+01:00

Yesterday - Saturday - my mother died. Her body closed down bit by bit and when she finally went, after a false alarm over twelve hours before, it was peaceful. I was not with her when she went but had been with her the entire first night in the hospice and during the false alarm. My brave and wonderful daughter stayed with me throughout it all and has been a rock. It is a curious and strange

The obvious

2011-05-05T06:44:00.000+01:00

A person is laying there pretty much comatose, now no longer eating whilst drinking just a little. The diagnosis of the advanced spread of secondary bone disease has been given and yet I still ask if there is any chance of her rallying. Could her symptoms be down to just the medication suppressing her. I half expect her to get up from her bed angry there are all these nursing people in and out

Searing pain

2011-05-04T08:47:00.000+01:00

Since the early hours of Tuesday morning she is now on the happy meds and stronger morphine. She has stopped fighting my dad. Mostly sleeps. And keeps saying "thank you" in a servile way, which was always a contradiction within her that would come out at times. Tomorrow, a bed may become available at the local hospice. Monday night was possibly the worst with her screams of pain, and saying she

Dying is hard to do

2011-05-02T09:15:00.000+01:00

We didn't think my mother would last until Christmas but she did. And to each family event since. Not that we knew it but she's been living with a falling blood count, it went down to a fraction off 5 just a few weeks ago and after a transfusion that went some way to immediately relieving pain and her struggle to move. That honeymoon lasted all of a day or two and the pain returned. This is the

Crunching snow underfoot

2010-12-22T16:54:00.000Z

It is official. Christmas is here and the sort of run up to Christmas that I dream of ... walking down a real British High Street in and out of little shops with snow crunching underfoot, icicles growing wondrously down the side of a drain pipe, a bird flitting from branch to branch knocking powdery dry snow from the overladen branches, and me with my little list of recipes for the big event, all

Awake

2010-12-20T07:21:00.000Z

Something has switched in me and I am willingly up early. Wanting to crack on and get sorting of piles of stuff in between a busy work schedule this week. Will be good to see how much better the intentions pan out in reality. I am intent on being optimistic!

12 years ago today....

2010-12-19T19:49:00.000Z

... we moved in with the darling Mr Doris. So this is our 12th Christmas together. Ahhhhh.

One of those people

2010-12-17T23:55:00.039Z

Exam today was rather tougher. Considering it is all multiple choice it is a tad oo-er that it should give more than pause for thought. At least we will have our results for these first three exams in three weeks. Over lunch at college there was some chit-chat about who had done what for Christmas and it is interesting the impressions we have of other people. For example, there is a young lass,

Sauciness

2010-12-16T17:07:00.000Z

That is another exam ticked off and one more tomorrow. The cranberry sauce was made and frozen the other day from fresh cranberries on special offer. Today, the slightly stale loaf of white bread bought at a fraction, has been made into the bread sauce also to go into the freezer. Small details but less to think about come the big day, which in this household will be on Boxing Day with about

Crucifying Carols

2010-12-15T22:18:00.000Z

There is a charming medieval-rebuilt-in-the-1800s parish church in the centre of our town. A setting fit for wonderful marriages, festive Thanksgivings, and the annual Christmas concert from one of the town's secondary schools. But not the school traditionally known for its musical excellence and as such we were treated to an ear bleeding array of concert pieces, bands and choirs. Some of it was

Constructing Reality

2010-12-14T09:09:00.000Z

We each have our lives with its various constructs living in our cosy castles but what is it that gives us our strength? That keeps us going and gives a sense of purpose? In my case, strip away my dear Mr Doris, my kids, my family and my friends and what is there? Who am I then? There has to be something in each of us that gives us our own identity and reasons for being otherwise we are just

Ooops! Again!

2010-12-13T07:25:00.011Z

Another day I did not manage to post but interestingly another day of more Christmas shopping, helping out a friend and her daughter, sorting out something for my parents and washing-up the Christmas china. No excuse really not to post ;-)

Christmas shopping

2010-12-12T10:27:00.000Z

First thing yesterday did lots of studying for my next exam on Wednesday and then decided to start a bit of Christmas shopping. Lovely mild weather and not too manic out there but still have a way to go with it all. Foggy day today and interestingly grey.

Ooops!

2010-12-11T10:22:00.003Z

No post today. Didn't even switch on the computer.

Exam

2010-12-10T07:06:00.000Z

This afternoon we have our first exam which shouldn't be too difficult in the scheme of things but are still an unknown beast. Before that, we will have busy salon conditions to which I have been asked to be salon manager for which I will be assessed. There will be lots of assessments going on so it is not as if everyone will be watched every second but just generally, and specifically on

Diplomacy

2010-12-09T06:22:00.000Z

I have a mother who could be on her last legs. She is in so much pain and wanting to give up but she is holding on for our Boxing Day "do" and dear Mr Doris' special birthday outing the day after. Considering that she has misbehaved exceedingly badly at a very important recent event, the sort of unforgivable, over the top, bad behaviour because the world revolves entirely around her, she has

Frozen door

2010-12-08T19:39:00.000Z

This morning I discovered that a car door can freeze open. Or rather, the shutting mechanism can freeze so it is a flappy door and not really the sort of door one can drive around with. At first it all seemed a breeze: the key went into the lock and opened the driver door and the engine started first time. I had just offered an impromptu lift to my neighbour who works at the local school and she

Youtube

2010-12-07T16:03:00.000Z

I so love youtube! But then, I suppose I am attributing the good to the mode rather than to the hands of the users/producers. Just like we blame guns or porn rather than the people behind them but heyho that is another matter. Yesterday I could have been off massacring my local populace but instead I had a most productive time watching youtubes on threading and eyebrow definition. Who'd have

Meaningful Spaghetti

2010-12-06T07:55:00.000Z

On the floor, between our desks is a worrying pile of cables. Coming out of back-up power blocks or regular power blocks. Black cables, white cables and grey cables. Loose ends and USB ends twisting and winding from one tower to another. Into the scanner and out of the printer and seemingly all points in between. Then there are the junction blocks and cables so that one piece of hardware works

Fragile

2010-12-05T10:23:00.000Z

Not sure what happened to yesterday but within an hour of writing my last post, and feeling all smug, I was continuing with my college assignment and my eyes went ping. In a pre-migraine kind of way. It is difficult to study and concentrate when lights and objects slide around your vision and make you feel queasy. So as a result, I was up and down from the sofa. Sleeping it off and then returning

Saturday Snuggles

2010-12-04T13:37:00.000Z

Snuggles followed by breakfast in bed served by the wonderful Mr Doris. What more could a girl want on a snowy Saturday morning in December. With an empty diary and now doing my homework assignments it all feels good. Progress without pressure is what I think it is.

College Days

2010-12-03T06:43:00.000Z

Since September I have been at college and don't they say that your college days are your happiest? But I am not sure that happiness is not attributable to plenty of indulgence, partying and general mayhem rather than being in an institution of learning, growth and potential opportunity. You can tell I am old and I am certainly the oldest in our class and in our department. And that probably

Writing from the heart

2010-12-02T06:51:00.000Z

It is just after six thirty in the morning sat here having just showered and with my porridge bubbling gently on the cooker. With half a dozen flitting ideas for topics to write about I start, stop, erase and start again. Not happy with any of it and I realise that I am trying, and when you try the words just do not flow and they can sound contrived. At least to me they do when I write like that

December Dailies

2010-12-01T06:49:00.000Z

In 2007 I took part in Holidailies where everyone tried to post a blog every day during December. I can not find a 2010 Holidailies project so I am attempting my singular attempt at December Dailies, which, considering I post just maybe a couple of times a year these days is a tad ambitious. Nevertheless, here I am, grateful for the year that has been for me so far and wanting to post some

Reflections

2010-06-19T23:48:00.000+01:00

The day began with a communication from my mother once again waxing lyrical about my childhood. About the recordings of us as kids and me all laughing fit to bust. Along with the photographs we all knew we had to pose for, she has every evidence for our charming childhoods. The stains of our youth wrapped up in pretty gauze and ribbon. It stung me as I read and it bounced around my brain pointing

A beautiful world

2010-06-11T23:17:00.000+01:00

I have a brilliant new career as a beauty therapist. Who'd have thunk it. A career change within a few short months and so wildly different to the geeky-making-websites-me. Little ole me being in demand already by paying clients and doing some very nice work. It has been a journey and a half, with confidence building being the tricky one, but I'm getting there. Anyone who sees me can just see

Jigsaws and Bridges

2010-02-25T09:08:00.000Z

Another parental achievement deftly pulled off after more than a few months of teen angst. These successes have felt very few and far between with son constantly feeling "less than" and having "less than". Whilst any attempts from us to build him up have been rebuffed or minimised as he sunk deeper and deeper into Xbox giving lip service to all the homework and studying he reckoned he was doing

The price of water in the UK

2009-12-04T13:19:00.000Z

Just a quickie really ..... we pay more for our water each month than we do for gas and electricity combined! That surely can not be right? We pay standing charges for water in and standing charges for water out plus surface water/highway drainage which amount to £10 per month before we add on water charges in and 100% of that same water charged going out. Having done all the calculations, and

Air and water

2009-11-29T09:42:00.000Z

Since Christmas is on a budget this year I am already looking at ideas for Christmas dinner with just the four of us, and Boxing Day for twelve of us. Christmas dinner will be simple and tasty and easy, it is the larger gathering that will be testing. The offerings of the freezer stores with their large packs and exciting so-called sophisticated adverts have been sort of appealing but each time I

Embraced

2009-11-27T01:44:00.000Z

Embraced, I feel your warm arms wrapped around holding tight so I can let go. Embraced, nuzzled into your chest hearing the familiar heartbeat grateful with love. Embracing, you keep holding, not wanting to let go, or for this moment to pass. Embraced, each time rebuilds lost strength easing the bruised soul. Dedicated to the darling Mr Doris by Doris Mash PS Uh-oh, it is pass the puke

Manual Patience

2009-11-24T22:05:00.002Z

Today was great: after doing some work this morning I went out on an errand which brought me back through our little town in the late afternoon. I purposefully took the route which took me over the stone bridge, past the mock Tudor new builds and then the assortment of real Tudor buildings and the tall Gothic Victorian terrace. Past the parish church which has stood for 150 years amidst its

Tree of life

2009-11-15T21:23:00.000Z

It is the middle of November and I have put up our Christmas tree! I wouldn't have put it up quite so soon except I bumped into our lovely neighbour yesterday as I was on my way out and she was busy putting up her Christmas wreath on the front door and delightedly showed me inside to see the full compliment of her Christmas decorations and tree that she had put up. On account of being a bit bored

Sunny Saturday

2009-11-14T09:31:00.001Z

This is my seventh post in seven days, and in those same seven days I have been very busy working, attended to domestic things, started planning Christmas, made long overdue contact with a couple of people, and helped outside the house. That makes a really promising week in which I managed to combine enjoyable things like blogging with getting on. Something to do with not beating myself up so

Pet shop on the corner

2009-11-13T22:34:00.000Z

There is a pet shop on the corner of our road, in our small English town with a population of just over 16,000. It is a rural area with plenty of farms and real proper cows and sheep. What I don't understand is that I never see the pet shop busy with customers nor anyone leaving with large packages. Yet, almost daily there are deliveries to this pet shop. Big vans, even bigger trucks and all size

Dumplings

2009-11-12T23:42:00.000Z

Last night I made beef stew and dumplings. This is the first time I have probably made dumplings and they were, er, most interesting. They fluffed up and filled the tum and worked well as seconds for lunch today. An interesting achievement. :-) The picture to the left is not mine but from www.theauthenticfoodcompany.com

Coughing the plague

2009-11-11T23:46:00.000Z

When this cough first started over four weeks ago I stayed indoors and was poorly with it but as time has gone on and I've gone through various remedies, one of which involved lots of lemons, honey and nearly a full bottle of whiskey (three or four glasses of that a day soon makes damage on the bottle but luckily Aldi do a great priced version!), and although I am no longer poorly the cough is

Good news day

2009-11-10T16:22:00.000Z

Daughter texted to say that she has a new job within her company which takes her out of the call centre and into operations. She has done really well on the phones and occasionally been pulled out to do special jobs and now she succeeded in her latest interview. Which is now a 9 to 5 job and means she won't have to work shifts any more. And she was also pleased to tell us this meant she could

Minus one

2009-11-09T09:21:00.000Z

There are three temperature gadgets on my computer desktop. The first is for my own corner of England's green and pleasant land which reads -1 C. It is November 9th and still we have not had to put the heating on for which I am very grateful. Dear Mr Doris likes our home to be warm and I am more a "throw open the window" sort of person. So far we seem to be finding a happy medium as we live in a

There's a hole in my bucket

2009-11-08T19:34:00.000Z

The more I fill it the more it leaks. So much so it is hard to know whether the bucket is ever half full or half empty and to that end I decided to do myself a Tarot spread with the question "What do I need to do in order to feel more confident about myself and happier with life?". It has been nearly a year since I posted here and life hasn't stood still. In fact there has been some really big

Somewhere over the rainbow

2008-12-28T08:00:00.000Z

Somewhere over the rainbowWay up high,There's a land that I heard ofOnce in a lullaby.I used to have dreams, hopes and desires. Plenty of them. They propelled me ever forwards through my mixed-up life....Somewhere over the rainbowSkies are blue,And the dreams that you dare to dreamReally do come true....and I ticked through the list as each materialised. The lyrics are so true. What comes first:

Dreaming

2008-10-24T08:25:00.001+01:00

Just woke from an interesting illustrating dream which I think is one of those signpost ones. In essence, I put everyone else on pedestals in my life but never myself. As if it is OK for other people to be on pedestals but never me. The rationale being that I am both not good enough and also that it would be wrong because by doing so elevates me and puts others down. When, in my mind, having

Message in a bottle

2008-10-14T19:02:00.001+01:00

It is hard to feel any optimism, yet optimistic news might be on the horizon. It might all work out jolly well actually, but I don't feel like that and find it hard to summon up any enthusiasm. Just in case it falls through, and just because it might not happen I must try to hold tight.Holding tight these days means hiding away. Curled up and hidden in my bed alternating between tears, blankness

Stealth Mode

2008-08-10T12:38:00.002+01:00

I'm going under cover and putting this blog into password only. Not that I will necessarily be posting any more than I have of late but I'll explain another time.If I haven't got round to emailing you a password then please feel free to email me for access.Nothing mysterious, just is!Hugs and love x

Anger, not fear

2008-07-31T11:57:00.001+01:00

A book has come my way from "The Adult Children of Alcoholics Series". Entitled "The Self-Sabotage Syndrome: Adult Children in the Workplace". My parents are not apparently alcoholics, though at times they have not behaved well with alcohol but ACoCs is a term that can be used for anyone who has grown up in a dysfunctional family.As an aside, I wonder how many people it takes for a family to

Blue liquorice layers

2008-07-01T01:15:00.002+01:00

Eeeek! June is out and I didn't manage to squeeze in a quick post. Oh well. It was just to say that one thing and another I've been utterly busy and distracted. Done some good stuff and not done some other stuff. But I did manage a post on my other blog about last weekend at Sparkle.

Dr Who & Big Brother

2008-06-08T23:47:00.000+01:00

Big Brother lasted approximately eight minutes on the TV screen this evening before I felt so uncomfortable, squirming with embarrassment, it went off in favour of a documentary. It usually takes a week or two before I get to that stage as I actually quite like Big Brother.At the end of the latest episode of my beloved Dr Who on Saturday was an announcement about a Trailer maker. I waited a

Smoked Haddock

2008-06-07T09:47:00.001+01:00

Smoked Haddock on Cheddar Mash with Poached Egg and Hollandaise Sauce served with Spinach. That's what I chose for lunch yesterday in a rather lovely old country house hotel restaurant in Staffordshire. After driving the wrong way and ending up driving small roads past green fields and through small villages with Classic FM pumping out rip-roaring greats such as Land of Hope and Glory.I'm so glad

A new blog is born

2008-06-05T16:50:00.000+01:00

At the nursing stages, I have born a new blog. Up until now I have written plenty about me and situations and circumstances, and maybe snapshots into some of the people in my life but I have, hopefully, kept them discreet. Now I feel like I am coming out of the closet - not because I am going to hand over my name and address - but because I am going to be more open with my feelings about a

Furstjewnitis

2008-06-01T13:29:00.000+01:00

IntroductionFurstjewnitis is a common mental affliction that affects mature adults feeling their life is somewhat out of control and rushing past. It is a momentary precipice that can either lead to depression, great soul searching or even increased activity.Furstjewnitis is most commonly a response to calendric triggers and the condition usually occurs in summer. It is not contagious. There is

Film Review

2008-05-29T21:33:00.001+01:00

Dah da da daaah!Da da daaaah! Dah da daaaah!Dah da dah dah!Dah da da daaaah!Da da daaaaaaah!Da da da-dup da da-dup da da-dup da dup diddly dah.Dah da da daaah! Da da daaaah! Dah da daaaah! Dah da dah dah! Dah da da daaaah! Da da daaaaaaah! Da da da-dup da da-dup da da-dup da dup der...er... .....Rocks!

Life garage

2008-05-29T07:36:00.001+01:00

Sometimes, our cars get better care than we do. Serviced each year, they are checked over with oil washed through, exhausts and other worn items replaced, mended or cleaned. And yet our bodies, the finest engines in the world, go on for decades without any thought for servicing, coping with the abuses we throw at them from alcohol to tiredness to stress. Well, I have anyway.A few weeks ago I went

Day Out

2008-05-25T10:10:00.000+01:00

Determined not to let another half term slip into nothingness. Adults with their heads tucked into computers and son off doing his own thing. Plus, our kids are only young for a short time and I want some memories to be about us, as a family, and not just when we have friends and family to stay.The weather also helped. A good forecast meant Saturday must not be squandered as the rest of the week

The pace of life

2008-05-23T19:34:00.009+01:00

Taking the gentle road brings some lovely views:So lovely, that I had to get out and smell the morning air and listen to the birdsong:(that's if video uploading works on here!) Seems that traveling at 50mph or less makes a dramatic difference to fuel consumption and to one's nerves.

50 mph

2008-05-21T17:04:00.001+01:00

Driving home yesterday morning, with the rising cost of petrol in the back of mind, I consciously did something extravagant. Not extravagant with money but extravagant with time. I slowed down. Instead of a one hour journey at full pelt of anything from 70 to 90 mph (where I can) it took about twenty minutes extra.It seemed so slow driving at 50 mile per hour. Very strange. Like being in a

Been busy

2008-05-11T09:55:00.000+01:00

As I scan through my mini-list of things I needed to do in the last few days I have ticked off quite a few items that have been waaaay overdue. There are a few more things to do on that list but for some reason I am here blogging instead. Malingering and avoidance.Not good.On the other hand, I have eight items ticked off. Eight whole items. Worth a brownie point or two in the scheme of things

How to feel good naked, fast!

2008-04-29T09:28:00.001+01:00

Thanks to Gok Wan of Channel 4's How to Look Good Naked for services to womankind. Every week almost, I avidly watch his programme slotting myself into the mind of this or that person and on occasion thinking my body shape is that person, in particular the last one which was Nicki Denbigh. Some of those women look so beautiful as the attitude to themselves changes, and of course with the

Random game

2008-04-23T15:20:00.002+01:00

Anji has tagged me for this game with clear instructions:Random things about me1. I love eating chilled condensed milk, straight from a tube2. I have stood bail for someone once3. I am the second cousin of a British TV presenter but I'm not saying which4. I can drink, and enjoy, very strong alcohol5. I have piloted a barge down the Thames and through the Thames Barrier6. I used to be an excellent

Spring Cleaning of the Mind

2008-04-19T13:21:00.000+01:00

Laying in bed this Saturday morning all cosy and hugged up, my mind drifted back, way back and maybe it is a sign to me to write it down. These last weeks I have been feeling better about my life and my past in a "letting go" kind of way. I've blogged about epsiodes from my past but I have deleted the mainly painful posts. It was really helpful to write them but there came a point when I felt it

Wanna be adored?

2008-04-17T09:50:00.003+01:00

Jay of The Depp Effect is playing around with words which is a meme she found elsewhere on the blog trail, originally from Booking Through Thursday. This meme might be a tad old, but it is Thursday today!The idea is to ‘pick up the nearest book and turn to page 123′. Write down the first and last sentences on that page and connect them together with some new writing.Most of our books are still in

Revealing all

2008-04-15T15:53:00.000+01:00

Oh, just one thing and another, I had good reason to be fiddling around creating avatars and diversified into a bit of fun. Created using the avatar maker on simpsonsmovie.com and then a bit of tweaking in PaintShop.This is my family. I'm the one with green hair, Mr Doris has blue hair, 14 year old son looks pretty much as he does in real life with a big afro and an even bigger smile, and 18 year

Philosophy for kids

2008-04-04T10:29:00.000+01:00

A bit of love and understanding is probably all most of us ask for in this world.~~~It is an interesting late supper, sat around the dinner table with Mr Doris, fourteen year old son and my friend Jo who happens to be transgendered and in the process of transitioning from male to female. Jo has arrived from a work appointment and is therefore in male mode. Son is aware of the whole situation as

The Dinner Thing

2008-03-21T10:52:00.001Z

The last week my delightful ten year old niece was telling me about the mini Easter plays taking place each assembly at her primary school. Wittering on she told me quite casually about "The Dinner Thing" which took me a few moments to realise she meant "The Last Supper". I'd never thought of that particular event as a dinner or a human meal as such, and rather, just about the impending betrayal.

God to Panini

2008-03-10T20:20:00.007Z

Gallery of Views of Modern Rome (1758, Louvre, 231 x 303 cm)Giovanni Paolo Panini 1691-1765God:Panini! Calling Panini. Panini to reception please!Panini:Sure you want me?God:Panini! Giovanni Paolo Panini ... Italian artist born 1691 died 1765. Yes, you!Panini:Oooo-er (as he shuffles to reception)God:You painted Modern Views of Rome about 1758 .... ten foot wide by about seven and half foot high.

Falling off wagons

2008-03-07T08:59:00.002Z

Last night was my first red wine in, now what seems like, ages. A bottle that was given to us and kept winking at me. I kept thinking about it and in the end I thought this is stupid, I am not going to make a big deal out of it. So I brought along bottle and glass to dinner with Mr Doris and explained my actions. He said moderation was the key.Later when again he heard the chink of bottle against

Doris OS Version 2.0.0.8

2008-03-05T09:35:00.003Z

Suggestions and snippets of advice have come from all quarters which I have not been too proud to listen to, accept or act upon. In fact I have listened carefully to all sorts and am grateful that the universe saw fit to inspire a number of people to say or offer all the right triggers. This has happened in the past but maybe not quite as fulsomely as recently, but perhaps that was because I was

The Value of Pain and Struggle

2008-02-27T14:40:00.000Z

The last couple of days I have been on fast forward. Like a sponge soaking up as much information as I can find online about adults and parents with Aspergers. Like I am a large 33rpm album with so much information being played at 78rpm. There is an end, or rather a resolve, to the research and the process of my pain and struggle and I am whizzing towards it. Yes, I might have ambitious ideas

Parents with Aspergers

2008-02-26T16:44:00.005Z

Back in December 2005, as a result of some astute friends (Cheryl - you are one of them), I was looking into the possibility my mother was an adult with Aspergers. It would explain a lot of her bizarre behaviour, but at the time I couldn't get to grips with it and then life took over and within a matter of weeks I was in contact with long-lost cousins. One of whom is so special to me and then

Cauliflower Cheese

2008-02-24T14:30:00.003Z

Food is comforting and healing. For instance, I made this cauliflower cheese recipe the other day when I was feeling a bit down and looked forward to the therapy of making the white sauce. Cooking through the flour and butter and slowly adding the milk bit by bit keeping it all smooth is almost like an art. It takes time and patience but is a delightful process. In the end though, I tried out the

Procrastination sucks

2008-02-21T10:01:00.000Z

Yup, it's official, procrastination sucks the living daylights out of me. So I'll keep this brief.I no longer procrastinate. My new self-imposed motto is "I can do it and I can do it all". Which means I don't have to flounce off and leave blogging behind. Which means I won't feel that every email I receive is the straw that breaks the camel's back. Which means that I won't feel overwhelmed and

Valentine's Day Aftermath

2008-02-16T18:00:00.004Z

As far as the Mr and the son are concerned I pulled off my first ever roast leg of lamb. It was pink and utterly tender. Considering the meat was just from the supermarket and not a speciality butcher is quite something. To cook the lamb I washed and then dried it, and then rubbed it with dried English mustard made up with olive oil. Cut whole garlic in half lengthwise and cut slits into the lamb

Hot salty tears

2008-02-14T03:24:00.000Z

One of those nights where I have slept earlier on the sofa and then having gone to bed after midnight have lain in bed awake since. Contemplating life, the universe and everything, one thing leads to another and here I am crying. Hot salty tears that flow effortlessly and I wonder why am I crying? About events and situations that happened thirty to thirty-five years ago it seems utterly

Remembering

2008-02-12T15:00:00.000Z

In a month or two ten years ago Mr Doris and I met.In a month or two nine years ago Mr Doris and I married.It is poignant to look at the group wedding pictures and to see the faces of those who have passed since then. My paternal grandfather and then an ex-neighbour who was one of those extraordinary characters who faced much drama in her life and gave to so many. Then the elderly matriarch of

Contentment

2008-02-07T10:40:00.000Z

Written about contentment with darling Mr Doris;and dedicated to my friend Jo as she embarks on her new life.Cuddlingarms embracing close and blankets swathed round usOpennessbeing able to talk and shareNormalitybecause it is everyday and not just for special occasionsTouchingbody, mind or heartEqualityneither of us are less important or more importantNowin the moment it is a now thingThinkingof

London Delights

2008-02-03T10:26:00.000Z

Not bad being in London at 1pm following a phone call out of the blue at 9.30 am .... and it involved a two hour train journey. Showed me that there is still movement and a zest for life in me yet.My dear friend from Germany (the one who's 50th I celebrated with a couple of years ago by being a surprise guest at her party) surprised me with her unexpected flying UK visit. Me coughing and

Happy Happy

2008-01-30T15:40:00.000Z

These are the wonderful teacups I have fallen in love with. The colours are brighter than the photo shows and all in all, just make me smile.It seems to be a discontinued line and no-one can confirm they are dishwasher safe. So just the two teacups and saucers for now. There is a large plate (for cakes?!) and some side plates but I'll wait to see about dishwasher safeness.Tea tastes different in

Alternative Counselling

2008-01-29T07:53:00.000Z

Another strange dream. This time it was after 5.15am this morning and before 7.47am when I awoke again.As per usual, it was a rather involved dream until we get to this stage. A woman, who seems to be my mother in real life but wasn't exactly, was trying to find me a counsellor. The issues I had were somehow acceptable to her but she didn't quite realise they were to do with my childhood with

The Boy, The Wolf Costume, and The Suicide

2008-01-23T11:15:00.000Z

Very strange dream last week. The very next night was another strange dream and I thought I was going to have one of those occasional runs of strange dreams that I have noted down during my life, but I didn't and I didn't write it down at the time. So the second dream has just eluded me. On the edge of my memory banks but I can't quite put my finger on it or pin any of it down. But the first

Wordplay

2008-01-10T08:21:00.000Z

Delicious words weaving and wrapping. Or blunt, describing deeds. Whether from the toy box or the tool box the words matter. Sumptuous confections lifting one's soul or clipped harshness smearing one's heart on bloody walls.Mediocrity stubbornly infiltrates the gaps. Discrete words being discreet with innuendo and possibilities.At the ice-cream parlour of words sometimes brevity is the order, or

Sign up to get chickens out

2008-01-08T17:12:00.000Z

By the way, as a single parent on benefit, my two children and I ate much less meat but what meat we ate was free range AND organic. We didn't have puddings nor a lot of other things, but we still ate well on a budget.

Old El Doris Fajita Mix

2008-01-05T09:16:00.000Z

Last night I developed this recipe. Mr Doris had gotten the rest of the makings for the fajitas but couldn't get the Old El Paso Fajita Seasoning mix. Don't worry says I, remembering one of those army cadet roadshows and an army cook demonstrating cooking in the open. Using a big hot plate and finely sliced chicken (probably at a time when chicken was affordable), onions and peppers and just

A Blank Sheet

2008-01-02T10:27:00.000Z

2008 is a blank sheet. A gorgeous sheet of sumptuous paper ready to be writ, drawn, painted and doodled. Plans, aims and goals. Singing of love, happiness, health, joy AND prosperity. On the eve of 2009 I want to be taking this precious sheet of paper covered with exciting words and pictures beyond all expectations and placing it proudly in the scrapbook of my life.Those are the first words on my

It's a wrap

2007-12-31T08:49:00.000Z

Finally. 2007 didn't turn out how I had expected or hoped. I am either still twiddling my procrastinating thumbs or else things that should have happened haven't, not for want of trying. It is another year of emotional ups and downs but also feels like just another detour on the train of life and that the detour having been made, and more issues sorted, it is time to move on. Well, that's me

Green faced

2007-12-30T16:36:00.000Z

Three young people; an in-between aged person and two older people all sitting green and pale. A chocolate fountain whirrs away bubbling up gorgeous brown liquor with treats and fruits to dip all around. Quite frankly one piece dipped was enough. Whilst youngest tucks into an impressive third mouthful before anyone else was seated, and continued to demolish marshmallows to banana to

Kissing the brakes

2007-12-29T09:52:00.000Z

"Kissing the brakes" is such a lovely phrase to me, conjuring up ability, forward planning and being in charge. Then there is the word "kissing" and it is gentle and well meant. For the last couple of years I play a game when I am driving and that is to use my brakes as little as possible. So as I drive down the motorway or dual carriageways and I see cars ahead slamming on their brakes in a